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Parenting on Social Media

Abby Theuring, The Badass Breastfeeder, attachment parenting

Here’s a peaceful picture taken this afternoon in Chicago as the snow started to fall. I saw this scene from across the room and immediately took out my phone and was about to put it on my personal Facebook account. But then I stopped. Today was a really bad day. I feel all out of sorts. I was across the room because I couldn’t deal with them close up anymore. I’ve yelled at my kids many times. Exley has thrown several tantrums. Jack has bucked against everything out of my mouth. I feel overwhelmed and broken down. We have these days sometimes. We struggle to get along and flop around like fish out of water. I apologize and try to make right, sometimes I make it worse. When I think I can’t take it anymore the day ends and we wake up new tomorrow. This is just life, but the idea of posting this photo on Facebook today made me feel like a fraud. Like maybe there was going to be someone out there having the same bad day and when they saw this photo it would make them feel more isolated. They might think, “Look at all these families in my newsfeed having pleasant days ands I’m over here crying in the bathroom.” I’d hate for anyone to see this and not know that it was absolute bat-shit crazy chaos in here just moments ago. Remember this when you see perfection on social media. Here’s to all of us who cried in the bathroom today.

I Hope It Amounts to Something


Abby Theuring, The Badass Breastfeeder

I feel like we’ve reached a new level of chaos in this house. I’m constantly trying to keep up, make up for mistakes and be a good mom, but the chaos grows faster than I can work. I think back to right after Exley was born. Jack was 3 years old. It was an utter disaster around here. Jack hit the ceiling and I was trying to care for a newborn. But Exley napped. And during those naps I spent time with Jack. We played cards, board games, built things out of cardboard or towers with magna tiles. I know that I have always felt like I wasn’t doing enough, I’ve always felt like the chaos I was in was the biggest chaos that would ever exist in life. But looking back on that time now all I remember are the good times. I probably did a ton of things wrong, but I guess I did some things right too. And looking back it seems like it wasn’t so bad compared to now! Now once again it seems like the chaos is over my head. I feel like I am doing all the things wrong. I hope looking back on this some of the good times will come more into focus. It’s an insanely chaotic string of events and I don’t understand how it can turn out to be anything. I don’t understand how it can amount to anything, but I suppose it does. I hope it does. I hope it’s good.

Photo taken in between the first disastrous part of the day and the second explosive part of the day. This was the only way that they wouldn’t completely meltdown in the museum. I don’t like posting this happy photo because it doesn’t really match what I’m saying and it contributes to all the misrepresentation that goes on over social media, but it’s frowned upon to post tantrum photos. This is what I want to be even if I never feel like the person here.

Self Care is Not Negotiable

Abby Theuring, The Badass Breastfeeder, running for self care.

Do you create structure in your day to make sure you are meeting your own needs? It took my ages to figure this out for myself. But when I did I felt like I got ground under my feet again. It’s far from perfect and it doesn’t change the stress of parenthood, but I overall do not feel like I am free falling through life anymore. [Read more…]

Bad Day From a Kid’s Perspective

How can I say this? Today was shitty. Yes, shitty, that works.

It started off grand with a 45 minute run through the park pushing my 2 boys, sun shining, healthy breakfast, I was kicking life’s ass and it wasn’t even 9am.

Then we decided to go to the beach. It’s in the 80’s here in Chicago and we never miss a chance to crowd onto the streets when the sun is out. But with a plan like this with a 6-year-old and 3-year-old you must have zen-like patience. And I have the patience of a crocodile. [Read more…]

Motherhood Not Martyr-hood

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Exley has really fallen in love with bubble baths. So much so that he demands them a couple of times a day. It’s winter here in Chicago with lots of inside time.

He takes them so often that I have gotten sick of picking up the toys. So I just kick them to the side when I take a shower. [Read more…]

This is Life

Every night at 8pm I come out of our bedroom after nursing Jack to sleep. I meet my husband in the dark hallway who has just come up from rocking Exley to sleep. I pull my left breast out of the top of my shirt. I place my left hand on Exley’s back and my right hand under his bottom. My husband places his right hand on Exley’s lower back and his left hand on Exley’s arm. I scoop Exley to my breast. I carry him into our room and lie down next to Jack while Exley nurses for a few minutes. I slip my nipple out of his mouth. I stand up and look back at my 2 little boys sleeping next to each other as I quietly leave the room. [Read more…]

He’s Just a Baby

When my first son, Jack, was about 18 months during his second Christmas holiday. As usual my little sister was visiting from NYC. She is 11 years younger than me and has no children. She came to visit a couple of times a year and had spent time with Jack only a handful of times. [Read more…]

Dear Mama Friend

I am writing to you today because I can see that you have been crying. I know that you are struggling to keep your cool. You wonder how you can possibly get through the day. You doubt that you are capable of being a really good parent. Things aren’t going as planned. You tried so hard, but it’s falling apart. It seems like everyone has it together but you. Like you have failed yourself and your kids. Sometimes you want to run out of the house and never come back. Some days you feel like you don’t even like your own kids. Then you are flooded with guilt and anxiety that you could even think such a thing. [Read more…]

“Did We Play?”

Today was Monday. The first day of the week when my husband goes to work at the office space far away. On this day we have no car. The winters are long in Chicago and we are mostly shut in on Mondays. Some days I knock myself out trying to entertain the boys. Other days I laze around with them in jammies in front of movies. Most days are somewhere in between. [Read more…]

I Get Angry at My Kids

I keep wanting to start this post off with, “I love my kids.” But I don’t like that sentence. It’s too obvious. And honestly I feel silly typing it. Everyone loves their children. It’s just how nature has us designed. It’s not something we work at. It just happens. [Read more…]