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A Badass Breastfeeding Story by Rosie

Gracen at 3 days and 3 months.

I want to share my story with you. My son is now 3 months old. I read and read while I was pregnant and decided I wanted a natural labor to be home as long as possible and do be coached by my husband through the pain and hopefully out of a hospital bed. That all changed on July 28, 2013. I went to the hospital for a non-stress test because I was 10 days overdue. As they were monitoring baby, his heart rate dropped multiple times. They said either my placenta was becoming ineffective or the umbilical cord was getting pinched. They would not let me leave. I was having contractions about every 10 minutes, but I didn’t feel them at all. After multiple aggressive checks (stripping my membranes over and over) my labor was full blown. Nice strong contractions every 5 minutes and dilating at a steady pace. I was confined to the bed because they had to monitor him and found it hard to manage my pain that way. I could only get up to pee and it relieved the pressure so much I was asking to go to the bathroom after every contraction. Baby’s heart rate continued to drop and the nursed had me flipping changing positions to get it back up as well as wear an oxygen mask. I was advised to have a c-section and I broke down to tears. I refused the c-section and told them that if my baby could handle it I wanted to delivery vaginally. At about 5 cm I opted for an epidural because I could no longer handle the pain and the constant trips to the bathroom and I was confined to bed anyway. I progressed to 10cm fast after the epidural and it was time to push. I pushed for close to 2 hours and baby was tolerating it well. Finally I did it and he was born. He was placed on my chest and my husband cut his cord. The nurse started to stimulate him and clean his airways, but he never cried. I instantly knew there was something wrong. He was quickly whisked to the side of the room and people started swarming around him. Emergency calls went out and more doctors rushed in. They could not get him breathing. After nearly 15 minutes without oxygen they were able to remove the block in his airway and intubate him. There went my dream of keeping him close and breastfeeding him within an hour of birth. He was flown to another hospital within a few hours of birth and I only got to hold him for a minute before they took him away. He was put into therapeutic hypothermia for 3 days and put on morphine. I was discharged from the hospital 5 hours after giving birth to drive to be with him. Because of his trauma his first feedings were through a feeding tube. I pumped and pumped every 2 hours since the moment he was born so he could get only my milk and I couldn’t wait for him to be able to breastfeed. Well since he was in NICU, his input and outtake had to be monitored so his first suck and swallow experience was with a bottle. Since the moment I could I put him to breast and hoped he could eat from me. He would latch but was never efficient in emptying my breasts. I exclusively pumped and then bottle fed him until recently I decided I was going to get him to breastfeed. My little boy is the Badass, not me. Even with nearly 3 months of only having bottles my son will still latch on and he is getting stronger and stronger. He is getting less mommy’s milk from the bottle and more straight from the source every day. I feel like I have dealt with every issue… Latch problems, using a feeding tube to supplement while at the breast, low supply issues, clogged ducts and the uncertainty that he might never be able to efficiently feed from mommy. Breastfeeding is so important to me, I don’t know why, something inside of me keeps me going to keep my supply up so that he gets my milk and not formula. But I have to say he is the bad ass…. After all he’s been through to be able to be where he’s at today!





  1. Tears! Way to go! So glad you didn’t give up, hope you and your son have a great breast feeding experience!

  2. Help,

    I have a small sore on my nipple from where my 14 mo. old son bit me. I am now taking oral antibiotics as it was not healing, got infected and was very painful. I still nurse him on that side and it is very painful!!!!!! I don’t want to stop nursing and have tried various other ways of him latching and/or positioning. Any thoughts? I don’t want this small event to make him wean early or to slow my production down.


    • hi amanda!i’m from malaysia.my son is 19 months old and still breastfeeding.really understand about your situation.keep your nipples clean,always wash it after feeding and dry it.after that u can apply the cream.last time i only used the medela cream(contain lanolin) but now, I always apply my own milk at the nipples after cleaning it

  3. Kimberly Voland says

    Rosie’s story is so awesome! I think they are both badasses!! I feel the need to share my stories. I’m nursing my second son. And let me tell you, anyone who says breastdeeding is easy is crazy or is just lucky and had it easy.
    My first son was difficult because i labored for 16.5 hours pushed for over an hour only to have an emergency c-section because his heart rate would drop dangerously low. When he was born, the doctor showed him to me then daddy and handed him off tothe nurses who were having a hard time getting him to breathe. I didnt hear him, so daddy went to check on him. He finally let out a little whimper as he was being taken to the nicu. Of coursr daddyu told mehe was going to be ok but because of his breathing they were taking him to the nicu. My entire birth plan was completely out the window. Nursing was my only option. I refused to formula feed him.
    Once i made it out if recovery, they took me to see him. He was crying so hard, i felt like i was abondoning him and he wasny get the live and cuddles and care he needed. I touched his face and told him i loved him and that mommy would hold as soon as they let me. As soon as he heard my voice he stopped crying. I didnt get to hold him until the next morning, which of course made me feel like less of a mom. Then they told.me i couldnt nurse him until he was about 12 hours old!!!! By then they had given him a pacifier and a bottle. So getting him to latch was hard. I pumped every two hours kn top of getying out of bed every two hours to go to the nicu to try and feed him. I had no sleep for two days and my supply wasnt coming in fast enough. We out what mama milk I was getting into the formula so that way he got the good stuff too. He then ended up with jaundice. Yet another added day jn the nicu.
    Finally after 5 days in the hospital, we got to go home, where I still strughked with him not latching on. It tiok me three weeks to get him ti latch on. After that he was on the boob all the time πŸ™‚ once I had to go back to work, I had pleanty of pumped mama milk for him, but then he refused the bottle. It took daddy a few weeks to get him to take a bottle while I was at work. So in a way I feel that mommy, daddy, and baby are badasses lol.
    Second baby latched on right away. He was a planned c-section and had no problems. The day we got hime he decided he didnt want the boob anymore. My milk had come in only one day after birth so u wasnt sure what went wrong. I suffered the baby blues bad and thought i did something wrong. It had been almost 4 years since I nursed our first boy so I thought I was out of practice lol. It turns out I was so bloated with water weight he couldnt latch on. So I made sure I pumped some then nursed him. One my swelling went down we havent had any problems. He is now 6 months old and loves his mama boob πŸ™‚ My only concern is when I need to finda new job, how would I go about askjng them for a place to pump on my breaks so I can continue to give my baby boy the best a mommy can offer him? Would I be discrimjnated against because I nurse mg child? Would I not get the job bwcause I need to pump? So many people are uneducated and don’t really care about mothers who nurse. I olan to nurse this guy for 2 years which is only 6months longer than my first. And I pray I find a good part time job that doesn’t discriminate against nursing mamas.

    Rosie, your baby is a super badass just like you πŸ˜‰ anyone who had to go through a hard time and continues to do what they feel is best and never givesuo is a badass!!

  4. keri bryant says

    From a Connecticut momma to you…you are one Badass breastfeeder and so is your son. If YOU can do it..anyone can. Keep it up, Momma. love knowing there are moms like you out there. Giving their babies the best.
    You go girl.
    Hugs from the east,

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