A resource to inspire, inform and empower parents.

Pressure to Wean

So yesterday I was talking this woman I know and I was expressing how Jack was having a hard time settling down for sleep in the rocking chair the night before; tossing and turning, doing gymnurstics, etc.

 

Abby Theuring, The Badass Breastfeeder, breastfeeding in public.

 

She said, “wean him! Why don’t you just wean him!?”
I said, “no, I don’t want to. I believe that this is what is best for Jack and I will allow him to nurse for as long as he needs to.”
She said, “so if he’s like 4 years old and tells his friends ‘oh I’ll be right back I need boobie’ then what?”
I said, “isn’t it sad that most kids don’t know that boobies are for them?”
She said, “so, you’re going to have a one man revolution, huh?”
I said, “oh no, it’s not just me.”

Evil revolution laugh coming, join me. MUAHAHAHAHAAA!

Abby, MSW, The Badass Breastfeeder

Comments

  1. I’m in it with you!! I have a 22 month old who isn’t showing any signs that he’s ready to wean. 🙂 hang in there.

  2. My son is 9 months old and I’m already receiving comments about weaning him. 🙁 Yes, he’s a boy. Yes, he’s a bottomless pit. Stop trying to shove crackers in his mouth! My mom understands that BF is the best nutritional choice, but it’s hard to overcome cultural views, I guess. And my grandma…well, that’s kind of the generation that started it, right? Luckily there has been a huge push in our community for extended breastfeeding, and baby led weaning, so it’s more common to see moms BF toddlers. 😀
    And you (all of you moms) are the ones that have to deal with an unhappy baby ALL NIGHT if someone feeds them a type or quantity of solid food that their little body doesn’t digest well. Yup, had that happen a couple times recently.

  3. Hahahaaa!!! I love my 18mo old girl. She asks in public for her “shishi” I will continue to nurse until she is ready to let go. I have forgotten the number of times I have been told to stop breastfeeding from comments like: she is past 6mo & 1yr she does not need your milk, and the most funny in my opinion is “she will leave your breast looking like empty socks and hanging down to your belly bottom”!!! Ha ha ha. Why are other women so cruel??? I guess their guilt and ignorance…

    • brittany says:

      My response to the Boob insult is ” what 70 year old women do you know that doesn’t have empty socks sagging? ” lol my husband is attracted to me so who cares!

  4. Carina Seagraves says:

    Boobies are for babies

  5. Good for you! That really upsets me to read because that’s the sort of thing my husband says to me, and my lo is only 4 months!

  6. Maria A Hernandez says:

    Funny. I also love that most people don’t bat an eyelash we they argue cow’s milk is best for human babies! Superb logic. Really.

  7. MUAHAHAHAHAAA! 😀

  8. Glad to hear their are other Mamas out their still breastfeeding past 1 year. My little guy, 23 months, still nurses 1-2 times a day. I enjoy the closeness and snuggles. I will continue as long as he asks. I just get frustrated with his father who always comments about it. I feel like most of you, he will wean himself when ready! Thanks for the positive vibes!

  9. Kimberly Voland says:

    lol, I’m with you 😀

  10. My 3yo begs to disagree with that assessment–she’s not a baby, she’s not even a big girl! She’s a BIG SISTER! And the great thing is that if she’s still nursing at 4yo, she probably won’t be the only one of her peer group who is — I love living on the West Coast of BC!

    Tandem nursers, join us in the Evil-Sounding Revolution Laugh: MUAHAHAHAHAAA!

  11. Ugh! I am so in! Too many people in my life are pressuring to supplement so “they can keep her over night” or “maybe then she will sleep” “when will you be done?!” When my daughter is good and ready!

  12. Happily and proudly nursing my 30 month old…

  13. my daughter is almost 3 everyone was pushing me to wean her, specially as we have another one on the way. BUT guess what im not, why should i just because she is going to be a big sister. She’s already willing to share her milkies and asks me almost everyday if her sister can have some. Bring on the extented breastfeeding we need it to become so common that people dont even comment.

  14. Muahahahaha! I’m with you sister! My boy’s getting boobies until he’s ready to give them up!

  15. I’m still feeding my 26 month old and am happy to be doing so – I’m also happy to feed him in public etc because exposure and education are the best way to combat ignorance. My first weaned at 27 months by himself, he was just ready. Why rush these things? They are going to not be feeding for the next 80 or so years! This is really such a brief time in their lives, but so important emotionally and physically!

  16. Artha Marija says:

    Muahahahhahahahahhhaha!!!!!!!!!

  17. Hey everyone I had mmy daughter back in august and this is my first time breastfeeding and I have had a lot of issues! She gets half formula and half breast milk because I don’t produce enough milk for her. One side has several ounces aat once and the other side has barley even an ounce. I am already on fenugreek and have tried eating oatmeal to produce more milk and I latch her onto the side that is working right first but she doesn’t try for very long. Does anyone have any tips or food or drinks I can try to help?

    • Stop supplementing altogether. It’s a viscous cycle of supply and demand. Your body will produce what your baby says it needs. If it gets food elsewhere, your body will adjust to not make as much. Nurse often and on demand, as long and as often as baby wants. Make sure you drink bunches of water. Your baby will also be frustrated for a while because a bottle is so much easier than nursing but it tastes much better and is easier on the tummy. My 17 month old was supplemented in the beginning but my supply took a huge hit but now she nurses all the time and occasionally gets a hold of my friend’s daughter’s bottle and gags at the taste. Work through it and both you and baby will come out stronger and happier on the other side.

    • Do you have any other issues with nursing other than low supply? Any pain, baby frequently nursing or taking a long time to nurse? I had a very low supply even trying everything to help increase my milk and nothing worked. My son was tongue tied and lip tied and as soon as we had it revised there was a HUGE difference. I went from pumping .5 ounce from a whole day to 4 ounces in 15 minutes.

  18. You are awesome. 🙂 I am going through this with my in-laws. They just told me yesterday that because my 13 month old is still breastfeeding it’s sexual. I told them take the dirt out of your heads.

  19. I read this while nursing my 3 1/2 year old! Love it!

  20. My babies father suggested I wean my little girl so that he can have more alone time with her. A little background: she was 8 months before they met & she sees him 2 hours a week. Not giving up her comfort system for that. She is 16 months we bed share, NIP and she is very attached to me. I stay for visits because if I didn’t she freaks out. I think it is normal & her breast feeding still is perfectly fine.

  21. Jessica Bitton says:

    I am breast feeding my 2.8 year old and 11 month old with no end in sight

  22. Reading these comments makes me so happy at how many other breastfeeding moms there are. I live in a small town and I forget sometimes, my little girl is 33months old now and is slowing down but definitely not weaning anytime soon 🙂

  23. Jennifer Vaughn says:

    My son is only 7 months old and people act surprised when I still start nursing him if he is hungry. I get asked if he takes a bottle or when will I wean him. It’s so annoying. My husband supports my decision to breast feed at least until my son is one and if I choose to continue after his first birthday he supports that as well. We want what is best for our son. I really don’t understand why the majority of people I come into contact with act as if breastfeeding is such taboo. Breasts are not just decoration on our chests, they are there for the purpose of breastfeeding. I’m with you. People can stare and judge all they want, breast is best!

  24. Kace Hiccups says:

    My daughter is 8 months old. Last month the Pediatrician congratulated me on nursing her so long, but then was hinting towards stopping, as if I had already been successful and it was time to be done and “get my freedom.” He asked how long I planned on nursing for, and I shrugged my shoulders and said “I dunno, until she weans?” I thought his jaw would his jaw would hit the floor. His expression and silence was epic. He didn’t fight me though, he was just like “ok”, and moved on to the next thing. I told my husband this story that night, and he said “I knew I married a hippie!!!”, which he was very proud of. I feel very blessed to have such a supportive husband, who sees the benefits of nursing and the amazing things it has done for our daughter.
    My daughter has been in daycare since she was 8 weeks old. I desperately have wanted to stay home with her but we unfortunately can not afford it. The transition was very difficult because she never took the bottle, didn’t like my frozen milk, hated formula, and basically reversed cycled from the beginning of daycare. It broke my heart everyday when I would come to pick her up after her spending 9 hours a daycare, to see she had only drank 2-4oz of milk that day. I used to jump up and down when she took 6-9 oz. Her max has been 13oz in one day. She would pretty much only drink what I could pump after feeding her in the morning. She only wanted fresh. I couldn’t blame her.
    I ended up donating my frozen stash to a friend who could not produce – so I’ve very proudly (under crappy circumstances) was able to feed 2 baby girls for awhile.
    My LO recently started taking my frozen milk again – although still only drinks a little during the day. I feel like without her reverse cycling I don’t know if I would have continued to have such a fantastic supply because I only pump once a day at work, if that. But that baby will nurse all night if I’ll let her. And most of the time I do.
    I’ve ended up loving to nurse, after having her reverse cycle, because I see how much she desperately wants it and will wait, all day – and sometimes all night (when I have to work late), so she can eat from me and only me.
    Its heartbreaking and amazing all at once – and because of our breastfeeding journey, and her amazing patience, she can nurse as long as her little heart desires.

    Thank you for providing such a wonderful support group, where I could learn that its not weird to feel the way I feel – its ok to nurse her after a year – and as long as shes fat, happy and healthy – to not worry, that she is getting what she needs. I appreciate all that you do.

  25. Kristin Galea says:

    Shake that pressure off Mama! My baby and I are joining your revolution! *evil laugh* in return ^____^

  26. I believe in nursing past 2 years old and then letting the child decide when they’re ready. I am still nursing my 6 1/2 year old before bed. She’s not stopping anytime soon and I’m totally okay with that. (Why are humans the only mammals that force our kids to wean when they aren’t ready?)

  27. Fed my first until she was 27 months old. Plan to feed my second for however long she wants. We are at 20 months now. Almost no one breastfeeds in my small town. Glad to be part of the revolution!

  28. My little one is 15 months and I am 17 weeks pregnant. My milk production has stopped, but she’s still nursing all the time anyway. 🙂 My sister’s just don’t get why I won’t stop when she’s not “getting anything”. I don’t even bother trying to explain that she still needs the comfort and the bonding time with Mommy that she’s always had. I’m not just going to take that away before she’s ready.

  29. Tammy Nonkes says:

    Count me in for the revolution! Still nursing my almost 15 months old and showing no signs of stopping anytime soon! Aside from the occasional bite I love it and will nurse her as long as she wants. Im sure I will get pressure at some point to wean so its great to know there’s an army of extended breastfeeders to cheer each other on

  30. Tammy Nonkes says:

    Count me in for the revolution! Still nursing my almost 15 months old and showing no signs of stopping anytime soon! Aside from the occasional bite I love it and will nurse her as long as she wants. Im sure I will get pressure at some point to wean so its great to know there’s an army of extended breastfeeders to cheer each other on

  31. I am still feeding my 13 year old. He loves it so much. I don’t see a reason to stop. His friends are asking if they can feed too

    • I don’t normally respond to trolls, but on the chance that someone reading this doesn’t see this comment’s trollishness & takes it literally: children naturally lose the ability to nurse. I believe it happens around 6 or 7 years for most kids.

      • Well my son and I found a way to make it work. He was more just sucking on the nipple at around the age of 4 actually. He liked soing it so much at one year led to another and who are you to say that it is wrong. In cultures around the world incest is a normal thing. Boys use their mothers for their first sexual experience.

  32. My 4yo and 1yo agree!

  33. Continuing to nurse my child allows me to parent with my breasts. I have no ability to comfort my child with my heart and mind. So I use my breasts. My husband can talk to my son when he is upset, teach how do deal with his feeling. As a woman the only value I have comes from my boobs. Shove a tit in his mouth calms him down like that

  34. I’m in the UK and found several friends breastfeed to natural term (usually about 3 when their baby doesn’t need it anymore). I didn’t realise until I had my own baby as of course by then it’s alongside solid foods so their child doesn’t breastfeed as frequently.

    Although in the UK “weaning” means offering solids NOT ceasing breastfeeding so sometimes I see a comment saying “I didn’t wean till 3” from the USA and take a moment to compute it! As natural term breastfeeders in the UK might say “I weaned at 6/7 months” meaning they offered BLW foods alongside breast milk, not ceasing breast feeding!

    • that’s realy good to know, being from the U.S. I never realized weening had other meanings . Thanks for sharing 🙂 Also, good for you everyone that is nursing till your kids are done. I don’t have biological kids, so have not had the pleasure. But I definitely think the stigma on Brest feeding needs to be crushed. Also trolly Mc Troll Troll needs to shut up.

  35. I’m with you! 3 years so far.

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