When I was about 12 years old I opened our refrigerator and took 2 of my dad’s beers and slipped them into my back pack. I said goodbye to my parents and went over to my friend’s house a couple blocks away for a sleepover. I thought if we could each drink a beer really fast we might see what it was like to be tipsy. I was at her house for about an hour when her mom said I had a phone call. It was my dad. “Abigail, did you take 2 of my beers?” [Read more…]
Gentle parenting is PRO-gentle discipline.
Gentle parenting is not about what we don’t do. It’s about what we DO.
I recently overheard someone telling another person about gentle parenting. She said “we don’t spank, we don’t do leave our babies to cry.” I hear too much about what we don’t do as gentle parents. To me this misses the point entirely. [Read more…]
If you walk around barefoot in my house you will collect this week’s activities on the bottom of your feet. Oats, crumbs, uncooked pasta, cat food. This will all be held nicely together by the sticky popsicle juice. These are all things that Jack likes to play with. I try to clean about once a week, but it usually happens about every other week. I like a clean house. I am not one of these messy-by-nature people. If you follow my blog you will know that I come from a very rigid place. I like things neat, clean and in their place. Since Jack was born one of the many opportunities for growth has been how to let that go a little bit. I throw toys in baskets at the end of the day and load the dishwasher. That’s a successful day for us.
I have a supportive husband. I have a healthy son. I am healthy and happy myself. My husband works from home 2 days a week and has weekends off. He helps a lot by taking Jack downstairs while I cook or get dressed. He is always around to play and cook and clean and just be with us. And in the evenings he takes Jack while I take a relaxing hot bath. [Read more…]
I have gotten a tremendous amount of positive feedback regarding my post from several months back, The Secret of Losing My Shit. I keep recirculating it, but I recently thought to myself, “Why? I have lost my shit like 5,453 times since then so why not just keep talking about this topic?” I consider myself a gentle parent, but that doesn’t mean I am always perfect and always gentle. It means that gentle parenting is my ideal and it is what I strive for. There is not a single person out there who has reached perfection at anything they do. Even professional baseball players who make flawless plays most of the time strike out sometimes. [Read more…]
One of my biggest struggles as a mother is to let go of my agenda and listen to Jack’s. I set out to the park on an unseasonably warm day in Chicago. I mean how many days do we get to enjoy such a treat? On our way out the door Jack saw a puddle and squirmed to explore it. I tugged on his coat and coaxed him to the park. He resisted. I resisted back.
I stopped myself and asked, “what’s the big deal? Why can’t he play here? Why does he have to play in any designated area just because it is what I thought of first?” I put him down and he jumped into the puddle. He was elated in a way not often seen. I lost 10 minutes on an extra load of laundry, but gained a happy and healthy exploring toddler whose self-esteem and brain developed leaps and bounds in a way it would not have if I had demanded his compliance of my arbitrary structure of the day. I also gained a snuggley warm bath with my baby boy who is growing faster than the speed of light. Splash on, Jack. Splash on!
Abby Theuring, MSW
