A resource to inspire, inform and empower parents.

Breastfeeding In A Sea of People

By Anonymous

Before I had my first, Lennon, I was a mild mannered (boring) tax accountant.  Conservatively dressed working in a stuffy office.  I was never without pantyhose.  But when I got pregnant, I completely changed!  For the better.  I sought out a home-birth midwife and planned to have my baby in the water.

I was so focused on the birth; I never thought breastfeeding would be challenging.  Why would it?  I read a book or two; I attended a 40 minute class.  I had boobs.  How much more prepared could I be, right?!  I had never heard about horror breastfeeding stories.

My eyes were definitely opened to the challenges of breastfeeding the second I met Lennon.  But I never gave up.  I never gave in to all the “helpful” advise to just give him some formula.  There was something in me that just kept me going.  Love, stubbornness, hormones, whatever.  I stuck with it.  I made it through an un-revised lip tie and un-revised tongue tie.  I had to modify my entire diet to get to the bottom of my first son’s digestive issues.  I had to remove dairy and soy when I was already a vegetarian, so I essentially became a vegan in my 1st year of nursing (which is SO hard).  I nursed through my second pregnancy.  I nursed through sleepless nights.  I don’t think I have slept for at least 6 years!!  I nursed Lennon for 5 years and Erik (my 2nd) hoping to nurse for as long as we can.  I am not putting a number on it as I want it to just be as long as it needs to be.  I nursed through more challenges with my second, but I never thought I couldn’t do it.  Never thought about giving up.

I am a stay-at-home-mama and always thought I was weak for suffering from depression here and there.  Just recently I realized how strong I am.  And this tattoo (private) will memorialize my journey into motherhood and my strength.

My husband is one of my biggest supporters.  He still reminds me of a story when my first was 3 months old (so I was still such a newbie to mamahood and nursing in public).  We were at an event of at least 100 people.  Lennon was getting fussy and I just sat down on a couch in a sea of people and nursed him.  Still makes me tear up thinking about it.  I didn’t really see it as a statement on public breastfeeding or anything; I simply wanted to comfort and feed my baby.  There may have been 100 people in the room, but to me there was just Lennon and me.