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The Sex Argument Ends Here: Sex in the Attachment Parenting Family

Abby Theuring, The Badass Breastfeeder, with husband and son.
***My angry rant from the summer of 2012 when Attachment Parenting hit the cover of magazines and AP advocates were taking a beating on talk shows and everywhere else.***
I have many thoughts today about people that oppose Attachment Parenting. I can see the pain in people’s faces when they argue against Attachment Parenting. They become defensive, restless in their seat and overwhelmed. They begin to tell us that our kids are dysfunctional, we are over-parenting, what we do is too hard and what we do makes them look bad. It is very easy for me to become angry right back. I often argue with the TV, the internet, the mainstream. But there is one argument that always sends me into laughter.

“Where are you supposed to have sex?”

Before I had my baby I had sex in cars, at camp sites, in pools, in the shower, on the floor, on the dining room table; just to name a few. And this was before my son, just for fun, just living my life. I don’t think that I am particularly adventurous, but it just happens to happen in various places. I am pretty sure my son was conceived on the floor in front of the TV after the last game of the 2010 World Series.

Now that my son is born my life looks very different. It is a beautiful life full of fun, laughter, security, connection, a family bed and sex. So, where do I have sex you ask? The shower is romantic because the water is warm and bodily fluids are running right down the drain making every moment feel fresh and clean. You can do doggie style standing up or maybe stick to oral. In the dining room you can jump up onto the table and wrap your legs around your partner. On the floor you can lean on the couch or try some woman-on-top. Oh, the stairs! I forgot about our stairs. You can do doggie style here too or an interesting take on missionary. Do you get the picture? Is that answering your asinine question? Is there another question you have that you are afraid to ask? Do some people just have sex in the bed? Next to their sleeping baby? I bet that answer is ‘yes’ and if you have an issue with that then get the hell out of their bedroom. I’m sick of sex being seen as dirty, inappropriate and secretive.

If you can’t think of any other place to have sex then surely your sex life was not that great to begin with. So, as I have said to you before; stop trying to make us feel bad about being connected parents and having a good sex life. Stop looking for excuses to distance yourself from your children and take a long, hard look at what you have done and what you can do differently. Your guilt and criticism is getting old. Maybe you should get laid and relax.

Abby Theuring, MSW