I have never been shamed for breastfeeding. But saying that I have never been shamed for breastfeeding is like saying that I have never been raped. It doesn’t really matter. I still live in fear of it. No, I don’t mean shuddering in fear and unable to live my life. I mean my behavior (and yours) is shaped by the experiences of other women. I don’t walk alone at night. I am always aware of my surroundings. I walk briskly through empty parking garages. I would never think of cutting down an alley at night. As a matter of fact, I won’t even do it during the day in my neighborhood. I have lived my whole life being shaped by a culture where women are brutally abused every single day, where the responsibility lies on me to not be victimized. [Read more…]
Have you ever noticed that when a woman is harassed, raped, abused, or otherwise violated that people blame her for it? People often say things like, “She shouldn’t have been drinking at that party,” “She shouldn’t have been so rude to that guy,” “She was wearing a mini skirt at a frat party, what did she expect?” “She sleeps with a lot of guys, you can’t rape the willing.” “She should have stuck with her friends.” [Read more…]
I drove to an apartment on the west side of Chicago to be photographed in a nursing dress by Leche Libre. My 2 sons and I poured in with our usual chaos. Andrea, the owner and designer, and I chatted while our kids played. She took out her camera and I got into her sample dress. I expected to smile and pose, but when I put the dress on and looked in the mirror, I realized I had found my badass uniform. It was like finding a piece of me that had fallen away.
“Abby, why are you steady blowing up my newsfeed with feminist posts? This is a breastfeeding page, I don’t need to hear about all this. Stop trying to make breastfeeding a feminist issue!”
It’s happening. The exposure that women have given to their breastfeeding harassment is climaxing. Women have had enough of being verbally abused, called “disgusting,” and being kicked out of restaurants, doctors’ offices, court rooms, playrooms, public pools and stores. We are sick of being bullied by businesses, having photos deemed pornographic, being told that we should expect to be abused if we are going to do “that” in public/without a cover/near children/near husbands/past infancy/etc. Breastfeeders all over the world are shedding the cover and coming out of hiding. The world is feeling our power.
Photo by Ivette Ivens
We stand with everyone in the LGBTQ community, your family and friends. We mourn the lost lives with you and feel your power in the aftermath of this hate crime. We think of you every time we look in or out our window. I am dedicated to teaching my sons love, peace, acceptance and that they can love whoever they want. #OrlandoStrong
Happy birthday to me! Today I turn 40. Such an epic milestone. I could have told you with great certainty at every year of my life what I would be doing at age 40 and it would never have included breastfeeding an almost 5-year-old and a 2-year-old, being a stay-at-home mom and mommy blogging. [Read more…]
Unless you live under a rock you know about Brock Turner by now. My news feed has been blowing up with a nation emotionally triggered by a disgusting act of the legal system. I have so many thoughts, so many angles to take with this, I am also overwhelmed. I wasn’t sure I should say anything at all until this evening when I checked the comments of a photo that I shared to find a troll saying something along the lines that, “at least she ain’t a nasty hairy bitch, yet, why don’t you show me your jugs without the baby.” I decided I would go ahead and share one small sliver of a point that I’d like to express.