A resource to inspire, inform and empower parents.

The Ugly Side of Nursing Rooms

I support a woman’s right to choose what is best for her and her family. I support women who choose to cover when breastfeeding in public even though I choose not to. I support women who choose to use formula or to wean their babies even though this is not something that I personally choose. I genuinely believe that true empowerment comes when a woman has access to information and is able to make her own choice. I believe that empowerment is about the ability to choose, not the choice itself. I want women to be able to choose when, how and where they breastfeed their children. I know that there are women who would choose to use a Nursing Room if they have access to one. I applaud businesses and public areas that strive to be “family friendly” and provide a comfortable space for a mother. But I will never step foot in a Nursing Room and here is why.

Abby Theuring, The Badass Breastfeeder, breastfeeding in public

We are allowed to be in public. We do not have to go anywhere besides where we choose to be in that moment to breastfeed our child. I don’t like the sour smell of segregation being emitted from the doors of these rooms. These rooms could end up biting us in the ass. Breastfeeding in public for all the world to see is the only way to normalize breastfeeding. I don’t like the idea of these rooms becoming another place that society tells breastfeeding mothers they must go to feed their children. “Ma’am, you can’t do that here, we have a Nursing Room for that, you can go in there.” I understand that this is not the purpose of Nursing Rooms. I understand that they are for women who choose to use them. I understand they are built with the most genuine of good intentions; for our comfort, pleasure and choice. But I remain skeptical about their benefit toward normalizing breastfeeding, about how they could be manipulated in the future. We have as much of a right to be in public as anyone else. I think there could be a time when we might start to hear “why don’t you go to the Nursing Room to do that,” and to me this is the same as “why don’t you go to the bathroom to do that.” Again, I am clear that this is not the intention, but in the Unites States we are in a delicate situation. Breastfeeding is not normalized here. The cultural climate could lead to the misuse of these rooms. By society, not nursing mothers.

Abby Theuring, The Badass Breastfeeder, breastfeeding in public.

The message that breastfeeding needs to be hidden perpetuates the oversexualization of the female body and the act of breastfeeding. It can be yet another way to control women, to keep us separated from the rest of society. These Nursing Rooms could perpetuate the idea that breastfeeding is supposed to be “private,” “modest,” or whatever subjective words are tossed around. No group of people should have to go to a separate room, to the back of the bus, stand outside or whatever just because they all share a certain characteristic that the majority or mainstream finds unusual or offensive. No one has ever made any progress toward normalizing something by going behind closed doors to do it. Especially something that is normal, natural and nurturing. The act of breastfeeding is feeding, cuddling and comforting our young. This needs to be seen as much as possible. And it needs to be seen now.

Abby Theuring, The Badass Breastfeeder, breastfeeding in public.

My fear has come true in many ways. I have seen long discussions about the quality and condition of many Nursing Rooms. Mothers upset that this one was in a bathroom, that one didn’t have comfortable chairs; and mothers praising businesses for the welcoming sign outside of this room and the extra amenities in that room. I completely agree that bathrooms should not be Nursing Rooms. I agree that comfortable chairs show a great deal of effort to making mothers feel welcome. I agree that these conversations are important to furthering the cause. My concern lies when we step back and look at the bigger picture. Is it really furthering the cause? Here we are arguing, calling news stations and scheduling nurse-ins over the details of Nursing Rooms; meanwhile we are still being pushed into another room to breastfeed. Our mission is to NORMALIZE BREASTFEEDING . To stand up to societal norms that tell us we need to hide. To fight back against the majority saying we should cover, go to another room or stay home.

Abby Theuring, The Badass Breastfeeder, breastfeeding in public.

I will go out of my way to avoid Nursing Rooms. I do understand that there are mothers who do not feel comfortable doing this. Or mothers that have babies that are just too distracted. Or mothers that frequent areas where you can’t find a place to get comfortable. Or the pumping Mom who needs an outlet. I do not want to make this a black and white situation. I just want to keep us on our toes and do what we do best when we QUESTION EVERYTHING. I do understand there are benefits to these rooms and I encourage mothers who need to use them to do so. I also encourage more rooms to be built for the purpose of serving the comforts of nursing mothers everywhere. I am not wishing the rooms away. First and foremost I want you to be supported and comfortable. I simply want to present another side of the issue for us to keep in mind as we move forward. I want us to think critically about our behavior and how it can affect future generations of breastfeeders. I want us to think about how these rooms affect how society sees breastfeeding. Are they helping to normalize breastfeeding?

It’s tough; really, really tough to look at our everyday behaviors. I get that. But I do think it’s so important and of great value to think and have an open mind about what we are doing. If you want to go into the Nursing Room then I support you. I will hold your coffee, I will watch your stuff, I will keep shopping with you when you are done! But I will wait out here and breastfeed, uncovered, for everyone to see in hopes that one day you or your daughters don’t feel that you have to go in there.

If you feel you are in need of more support to feel comfortable breastfeeding in public please click here for my free NIP course!

Abby Theuring, MSW

Comments

  1. I used a nursing room once when my daughter was newborn and still getting the hang of nursing. Since then, I nurse her wherever, whenever and without a cover. I have had the opportunity to nurse around many pregnant women and I am not shy to do so, so that when the day comes for them to feed their child in public, they might remember seeing me and will have the courage to do it out in the open, unashamed and comfortable.

    • I try and nurse in front of pregnant mamas too! I can’t be bothered to go in a nursing room, but I did appreciate the privacy when we had stressful latch issues during the newborn phase- performance anxiety!Plus I always ended up half naked then, haha.

  2. I agree with a lot of things you said. Women should never be asked to go to a nursing room. But, when I was at a theme park with my almost 2 month old it was very nice to have a room that was quiet, dimly lit, and with rocking chairs for us to sit and nurse. I could have chosen not to go to the theme par k with my newborn, but how would that be normalizing breastfeeding?

    I also nursed her while walking around the park, but when she was too tired/overstimulated to nurse it was nice to make sure she got a full meal. I also took the opportunity to nurse her while eating in a dimly lit restaurant in the park as well, but it wasn’t nearly as quiet.

    • Brittony says:

      I soo agree, the times I have used nursing rooms I have loved them, I didn’t feel I had to use them but chose too. When we were at a theme park the comfortable air conditioned room was a blessing, they even had a section with a table, chairs, books, and toys for my older kids to play with while we were nursing. With my children I have had a lot of issues with them not feeding well or very much if there are things or people around (very nosey) so I would have to go somewhere for their benefit. Now I have no problem breast feeding out in the open when it works for my child/children and myself but have been very appreciative of the nursing rooms.

  3. I completely agree with you and see your point, there has been times where I used those rooms and somehow felt as if what I was doing (breastfeeding) was something bad. My son is now 15 months and despite people telling me that I should stop nursing him I recently just started to nurse in public uncovered all the time. I have done it before, but only when I was in Mexico for a vacation trip because over there is more normalized so I didn’t have people staring at us . As my son gets older I feel the need to show the world that I don’t care what they think about a mom and a toddler sharing this bond in public and I believe that breastfeeding most be normalized in America just as it is in other parts of the world.

  4. First and formost with out you and the fb badass breast feeders without a shadow of a doubt i wouldnt be layn on this couch at this moment nursing my 26mth old writeing you this message. So for that and so much more abby you are my hero!
    I completly agree with everything you wrote above. I have heard of many people complain about strangers and family members say very nasty things about nip or nursing in public. I have be very blessed to not be one of those women. I nurse when and where ever my baby desides he is hungry or needs comfert. I truly want you to know that you have made a differance if only me

  5. * must.

  6. So what im getting from this is that its not about feeding your child. But more about your right to feed wherever you want and basically tell everyone to fuck off. You always say children can eat whete adults do. Well I dpnt stuff my face in an aisle. I got to a designated food court or home or a restaurant. A nursing room is an infant restaurant. The sooner you admit that your “cause” isnt about your childs well being but more about you boasting your female specific law protected right the better.

    • So what your saying is you have never in your life, ever eaten anything outside of your home or restaurant/food court? I highly doubt that. At some point in your life you have grabbed a snack off the grocery store shelf or a soda and partook in the aisles. Babies have the right to eat and snack wherever they want to.

      • Nope. Never have. Aside from my car. Just like a baby I can wait a few minutes. I dony have to shove food down my mouth the secomd I feel hungry

        • So you are one of the only people on the planet that feels some sort of weird compulsion to only consume food in designated areas, but fortunately, there is no rule saying that we must all abide.

          You’re also comparing your ADULT ability to postpone your nourishment until it’s convenient or you are in an appropriate place, with an INFANT’S absolute lack of ability to wait half a second before going absolutely nuclear.

          And you’re absolutely wrong that she is more concerned with her cause than her children…..she seems to be more concerned with women and children being afforded the right to nurse wherever they’re allowed to be without stupid comments and looks from people or being told to go to a nursing room. Some women feel more comfortable in the nursing room, some women don’t have the time to sit in a nice comfy, quiet room to nurse their kids when they have a billion other things going on and they need to take care of other kids. Some women have children than nurse every 2 hours for 30 minutes straight and to sit in a room to nurse them would me they were unable to do anything productive with their days…..and with the recommended weaning age being 2 or older, that’s at least 2 years of complete non productivity. Unacceptable.

          I think what we are all trying to do if feed our babies, but if I can feed my babies and empower other women to nurse where they need to when they need to then hey, two birds with one stone.

          And hey, maybe you should be a rebel sometime and snack on some nuts while in the checkout line at the store….live a little.

          • Show me an accredited study saying an infant cant wait more than a half second to eat or it will cause tuem damage

          • Victoria says:

            AS A NURSING MOTHER I disagree nonya… this woman has given me the strength to feel comfortable to fight for my rights to express at work and helped thru challenges and any thing I have ever needed as far as breastfeeding… its not just “her cause” its the rights of us and our children to not be told we cant sit down at a restaurant and feed our baby because feeding our kids disgusted acustomer… or having a half hour appointment take 2 hours and being told we cant feed our screaming child beciase breastfeeding in public is unnacceptable to you! Its about being able to properly “demand feed” as the jospitals and pedi tell us to but rude ignort assholes like u think our baby should wait till we r at home or in a bathroom to eat. Do u eat in the bathroom on a public or private toilet? HELL NO! AND neither should infants. Thats her cause as u put it.. not for the females right but for every infant whos mom hasbeen humiliated and been told to go out and feed our children by a dumpster or in a public restroom

        • Oh nonya… I just wanted to say that you’re an IGNORANT IDIOT. And that’s coming from a dad. Just reading your comments makes me laugh. . You’re attempting to start a fight over an INFANT’S needs. Grow the f up. Infants CAN’T wait. Period. Have you ever tried asking an infant what time it was? Or for directions to the nearest gas station. No, and it’s pretty self explanatory as to why you haven’t. You’re a grow man and or women so why don’t you pick on someone your own size. I’m done with your nonsense and prideful insecurities. Ladies… Do your thing. Nonya.. Get a life.

          • So being able to give directions is the same as physical being able to wait a few minutes to eat without causing damage? Like Ive said before show an accredited study showing infants WILL suffer damage from not eating that very moment. Otherwise YOU are just an IDIOT spouting out at the mouth

          • Nonya, you sound like a fool. I Have a 17 month of that I’m still nursing and I cover up and use these nursing rooms when I need to too because I have yet to feel comfortable because of society filled with people like you. But trust me the day someone ever tells me anything as ignorant as you sound I’m just going to whip it right out and feed my child along with my little one on the way! People with your stupidity seems to encourage me more and get me closer to freely nurse my child in public because it’s nobody’s business! Don’t like it, don’t look! Same as what they say about proactive posters you see all over the place. Most women don’t look like that yet nobody brings those things down or try to hide them why should we hide what’s actually real? You’re a mother, grow the F up!

          • elva. read my comments. and when you find several about my not having a problem with nip you can just leave feeling like an idiot because we both know you wont have the guts to say you were wrong

        • I never said it would cause them damage, but that isn’t the line that I measure my decisions by. I don’t decide whether or not to do something based solely on whether it will cause my child damage or not. The majority of mothers do not make a habit out of expecting their infant children to wait, even half a second, to eat. As we most know, babies go from zero to pissed in 1.6 seconds. Why would we ever feel the need to make them wait (especially when it’s only for the comfort of those around us, not to the benefit of the baby) when one of the major awesome parts of breastfeeding is that it’s always hot n’ ready at a moment’s notice!? I mean come on, why? Why wait? It’s just not necessary unless it is somehow to the comfort of the mom and/or child to go somewhere more private.

          • To add to what you are saying, even if there isn’t a study to say they are harmed, I choose to trust my baby who cries, I choose to not let them feel as though I am ignoring them emotionally just for the sake of ignorant people. My baby cries because he or she needs something from me as an empathetic mother who knows the needs of her children and is willing to care for them with my mature mind making grown up choices!

        • Shanda F says:

          Actually there are plenty. There is a ton of research now about how forcing children to cry it out leads to horrid side effects. Forcing children to eat on a schedule leads to eating disorders. There was a popular book in the 80s and they discovered a few years ago, that children who were forced to be on this schedule have mental health issues, and eating disorders.

      • I have never eaten anything from the grocery store shelf–because I haven’t PAID for it yet at that point. I don’t let my kids do it either. I have no qualms about breastfeeding in public, but I do take issue with eating something that hasn’t been paid for. I think that sitting on the floor in the book aisle at WalMart is unsafe and a bad idea. Grab a book if you must, and head for a bench where you won’t get run over (and I hope you plan to pay for that book, LOL!)

        • Maybe the food was in your bag, doesn’t have to be something off the shelves. I stash food (crackers, nuts, protein bar, whatever) in my purse and eat it whilst shopping all the time. I carry snacks for my kids too (because who can expect them not to get hungry when they’re at the store), so it doesn’t necessarily be shoplifted criminal food that we are eating while walking their the store.

      • So you’ve never had a picnic at the park, or gotten a hot dog from a street vendor, or an ice cream cone at a theme park? How about a corn dog at the fair? Never grabbed a bag of chips at the corner store? Snacked at your desk at work? Even eating in a restaurant, you’re not “hidden” from the public. You eat in plain view of everyone else. Should a child not be granted this same right?

    • No one would think twice about a person walking down the aisle snacking on a candy/granola bar, or a child in a shopping cart eating goldfish crackers, or a baby in a shopping cart drinking from a bottle….so why is a baby breastfeeding (in an aisle or anywhere else) any different? It’s not about “boasting female specific laws”, it’s about a baby’s NEED to eat on demand. That’s right, while you can wait to get to your home, a restaurant, or the food court to eat, a child many times can not wait. So I will feed my baby any time she needs to be fed, and yes, sometimes that might be when I’m shopping and walking down the aisle in a store. Are we really so self centered as a society that we think “why can a baby eat here and I can’t?”

      • Show one accredited study showing if a baby doesn’t t eat that second it will suffer damage. Ill wait

        • Courtney says:

          Okay Nonya, here is an article I found after about 30 seconds of googling that does an excellent job of highlighting different medical studies that show both the benefits of feeding on demand (higher quality milk, less stress on baby), and the detriments of NOT feeding on demand (possible cognitive/developmental delays). It also discusses infant feeding from a biological and evolutionary perspective, with plenty of evidence to back up its arguments. Happy reading!

          http://www.parentingscience.com/infant-feeding-schedule.html

          • Non of those are acknowledge by leading health care organizations imagine that. And feeding on demand and neglecting for hours are two very different things

          • Courtney says:

            It’s obvious to me now that you are simply here to antagonize others. Your arguments are weak at best, and for every calm and informed response to your rants, you come back with a sarcastic retort. No one here is trying to be mean to you or offend you, we are trying to help you to educate yourself and point out where you may be mistaken.
            This is a forum for women who want to support and empower each other, and your only goal seems to be to make others feel bad–not sure why.

            If you had no desire to learn more, and felt no openness to discussion, why did you even comment here in the first place? Why do you continue to do so?

            I truly hope that you can sort out whatever darkness is prompting you to act this way, and that if you decide to post here in the future it will be with an open heart and mind, and in the spirit of encouragement for the other mamas who read this blog.

            We’re all here to fight the same battles!

        • Beth Humphrey says:

          Everyone is jumping on Nonya, solely for disagreeing about the need to breastfeed in public. Her comments were not abusive. Yet, a bunch of you pro breastfeeding in public mommies called her stupid, used curse words at her, etc. You are the ones who need to GTFU, as someone put it. This is why I find it so hard to take women like you seriously. This is not the first thread on this subject, where the pro-breastfeeding in public mommies became abusive towards anyone who dared to disagree with them. You lose a lot of credibility,, that way. And to the ones who called Nonya stupid; she is correct. I am not against breastfeeding in public; but your baby won’t starve, if you wait 10 minutes, until you get to your car.

          • I find it hilarious because instead of giving evidence of damage or arguing that its not about them making a statement more than its about their child, they just insult me and say im against breastfeeding ( even though I never said I was)

          • But the point is, why should she have to go to her car? I agree, some of the comments were rude and over the top, but the message was the same, there is no reason why a woman should be expected to go to a private place to breastfeed her child unless she wants to. A baby drinking formula or breastmilk from a bottle is completely acceptable, but not a baby drinking from the breast? I don’t feel that it should matter just because it’s being served out of a different container. There is simply no good reason for a woman to not feel 100% empowered to feed her child anywhere, anytime without risk of judgment or harassment from anyone. That is the point. Women get very upset when they are expected to ask their children to wait to eat simply because someone else is being uptight or judgmental or whatever. It’s annoying, since we are 100% in the right to nurse when and where we would like.

            There doesn’t NEED to be a study showing that a baby will be physically damaged by waiting to eat. It’s not necessary. So why do you keep asking for an accredited source? We don’t need an excuse or a study or permission to feed our children just like another mother doesn’t need an excuse, study or permission to give her baby a bottle wherever she wants. There probably are no studies….because they aren’t necessary. We are allowed to feed our babies, it’s just a simple truth…and a law, so why would we need an accredited source to tell us we should have what we already have!?

          • Whitney because people keep saying the baby needs it that second. They do not. The mother just wants to. But doesn’t want to say it that way. And there it is. Its not about feeding your child its about empowerment. Always was on this page

          • I normally don’t read all these comments but would just like to add that in my experience the people saying a baby can wait 10 minutes to wait are also the people that will complain that ” that baby is screaming, feed it or something”….. so than what are you to do…..

        • Irrelevant. The same people who think nursing in public is something that should not occur are the ones who also get their undies in a wad if there is a baby screaming in a public place. Either you deal with public nursing, or you deal with public screaming–and there isn’t a single scientist or parenting expert out there (with the exception of the Pearls and their ilk, if you consider them experts in anything but child abuse, which I do not) that think letting a baby scream is any sort of wise idea. You are the one who disagrees. YOU provide evidence that letting a hungry baby scream when there is no need to do so is wise.

          • I said that it will cause damage because someone said the baby needs it the second they are hungry. So no I dont need to show evidence

        • Nonya – you obviously have no idea how scientific studies work if you are asking for an accredited source showing that a baby will suffer damage if made to wait to eat. Or perhaps, that is the point of your question, maybe you know no such study CAN exist because it would be unethical to perform a study where a baby could suffer damage. No study would get the approval to go ahead from an accredited source if one of the risks were damage to an infant. Soooo…. We are left with the question, why SHOULD the baby wait? They do not have the capacity to understand the idiosyncrasies of American sexual dysfunction to know why they cannot have food immediately. They can’t even understand “wait 2 minutes, we’re going to the car”. So are you suggesting that ALL babies, regardless of their manner of feeding (breast or bottle) should be made to wait to eat until they are in an area designated for eating? If so, are you saying that ALL people should refrain from eating in other than designated areas? If this is what you’re saying, fine, you’re entitled to your opinion, even if I do not see the logic or reason behind it. If you are saying that ONLY breastfed babies should be made to wait, then I ask you why? The only difference between breastfeeding and bottlefeeding is the container used to deliver the nutrients. So the aversion must be to the breast itself. So what is it that makes a breast an unacceptable delivery system for nutrients in public? This is mostly an American thing, it is not worldwide, many countries have populations for whom breastfeeding in public is no more interesting or different than scratching your nose in public. I would hazard a guess that the aversion has something to do with the hypersexualization of women’s bodies in this country, mostly for profit. When something is displayed openly as a sexual object to be used primarily for sexual gratification, people tend to look at it as wrong or sinful or dirty to use in another manner. We don’t use dildos to stir cake batter, not even new ones that have never been used for their intended purpose. My argument to that would be that women’s bodies are not objects, breasts are not there for any other purpose than to provide nutrients to offspring. This is a sexist and misogynistic cultural standard, that women’s bodily value be based on the sexual gratification of others. Especially since men have the exact same structures within the breast as women, and are capable of lactating. Men can walk around topless in public spaces, why are women shamed for even discreetly breastfeeding? Why are women’s breasts stigmatized, but not men’s? I mean, stigmatized except when women’s breasts are being used to sell something, of course.

          • I asked for the study because someone stated their baby must have it that second when in fact they dont. Ive never stated breast feedimg was gross or should be hidden. I never stated breasts were for anything other than breastfeeding. I never once did. Ive argued it’s more aboyt the mom here than the child. No one can argue that so they keep making stuff up that they could win amd try to get me to bite

      • Victoria show where I said anything about toilets or bathrooms. Oh wait ill help you out. I didnt. Problem is you dojt know the difference between demand feeding and instantly feeding. Demand feeding is where you fees when they are hungry instead od schedule eating where you feed on a set schedule no matter if they are hungry or not. I hope this lesson has helped you.

        • Courtney. No. I was given a link to a post from someone giving out info from another source. A source that wasnt from facts back by studies on the topic I asked for. There was a bunch of “may” in it. Nonthing factual has “may” it also never said anything about instant feeding. So no.

          • Ashley Smith says:

            OK wow! That’s a lot to take in. Here’s the thing you cannot put an infant on a feeding schedule no matter what BC they are growing. I have a 3 month old and I stay home a lot BC he gets cranky when he’s hungry like all babies do and I feel embarrassed and don’t want others to have to hear a fussy baby. Would you rather just see someone nurseing then have to hear a baby go from hungry to screaming crying fit in less than a minute BC they are hungry BC believe it or nor they get there that quick. I nurse in public if I have to but I cover up and its not easy to do. Babies are not adults and therefore we shouldn’t treat them like adults. I had to go sit in a bathroom once at a Rico bell to feed my newborn BC I was a week old new mom who was struggling with bfing and didn’t want to offend anyone I also had to get my mother who was visiting from out of state to holds my son in her lap so I could change his dirty diaper BC taco bell restaurant we were at didn’t offer any changing table at all. Do you have children at all? If so I think your opinion would be different besides a woman bfing in public shouldn’t be a big deal when the baby is latched on its like her wearing a bikini u see the same thing.

          • Ashley Smith says:

            Also to add to it. Women who bf have to feed on demand to keep their supply up BC the moment they don’t feed like their suppose it tells the breast hey you don’t need to produce this much and will cut it back and that’s not a good thing at all.

          • Ashley smith read the rest of my comments then you can come back and apologize for the accusations 😉

        • I agree with mothers being able to breast feed whenever they feel the need. I also agree that certain locations and times are not always necessary, but regardless it is a natural thing that is allowed for whenever a mother needs to feed her child. As a mother, when I was breastfeeding, I felt very uncomfortable being anywhere near exposed for breastfeeding, and rarely even did it in front of family. It is completely and totally and personal choice for the mother, and no one else. Most times, even if a mother is not using anything to cover, the babies mouth/head covers a majority of the breast anyway, therefor I have seen much more coming from females crop tops and low cut shirts then I have from breast feeding moms. Also, it is very simple to acknowledge a mother taking advantage of her rights as a mom to feed in public, and simply look away in a respective manner.

          As for the argument on waiting or not…. I agree that there are some moments when it may be easy to wait to pull out and feed ones child, regardless it is still the mothers choice. I am sure waiting ten/fifteen/twenty minutes will not cause any serious damage to a baby but that does not mean it should be done. Infants do not understand “give mommy ten minutes so I can finish shopping and then I’ll feed you”. When a baby is hungry, they let you know and can get very upset and anxious if they have to wait. This, can indeed cause small issues such as messing up feeding routines, babies eating to quickly (causes stomach pains/throwing up/etc.), and sometimes the more not relaxed a baby is, the harder it is to get them to latch on to the breast which could lead to more serious issues for mothers who struggle with that.

          I agree that a child will not die or be caused any physical damage, but there is also no need to put a baby through the inconvenience of waiting to eat on a mothers free time. Therefor, if a mother chooses to feed in line at the store, in a bathroom, in a breastfeeding room, at a park, in her house, at a restaurant, under a blanket, or not under a blanket.. it is completely her freedom to rightly choose how/what she wants to do about feeding her child.

          And I speak from experience and doctors advice, which may not be from scholarly websites but first hand experiences from mothers and doctors. It is also a choice of opinion. I did not feel comfortable feeding in front of people, these mothers clearly do, and you clearly don’t feel comfortable seeing it and these are all our personal opinions and we should all respect each others opinion when confronted with these situations. If you don’t feel comfortable, respectfully look away and if mothers see people looking uncomfortable try to accommodate and not be in their face with it. It is a fantastic, natural thing, but regardless of how natural it is not everyone feels comfortable with a boob out while they are eating, everyone should try to respect each others beliefs regardless of their own.

          • Where did I say I have a problem with nip? I have yet to get an answer to this yet everyone is saying I do

    • Anyone can walk down the isles of, let’s say Walmart, and eat a granola bar or drink their coffee so a child should be able to nurse in those same places. All the author is trying to say is that with the introduction of nursing rooms it gives people the idea that it isn’t a choice but if a woman is going to feed her child she should have to go to this designated area, which is just not the case by law. Some nursing areas I have seen are nice and I choose to go to them for comfort (cushy chairs, pillows) but some are not well cleaned or maintained or you have to go through a bathroom to get there. You are entitled to your opinion but it still comes down to the fact a woman has the legal right to nurse wherever she is legally allowed to be. Qv

      Ps. I’m writing this one handed while nursing my baby so please excuse any typos

      • No. What she is saying is if you give any on your right than people will wonder why the one asshole of a person is saying ” its my right if you dont like ot look away”

        • If I see someone walking down the aisle of the grocery store dressed completely inappropriate, do I tell them to go elsewhere or to cover up? No I look the other way. Wanna kbow why? It’s none of my business! I hurry my kids along so they don’t see and get over it. You should too. After all breastfeeding is natural. And if my son is hungry halfway through my grocery trip I will not abandon my cart to go find somewhere to nurse, while also trying to keep my 3 year old preoccupied, I will feed him in my carrier as I get my groceries. He shouldn’t have to wait 30 minutes or more, besides the fact most people would be complaining of an infant crying.

      • It also says the word “may” in front of all of it. I may run at the speed of light I may not. Facts and possibilities are two different things. And no where did it say feed the moment they are hungry. It says let them determine a feeding time

        • Anastasia says:

          It’s obvious to me that you’ve never breastfed a child.
          If your breastfed baby decides she’s hungry right now then you have only a few minutes to feed your baby before they get upset. The more upset they get the harder they are to latch. The harder they are to latch, the less milk they get. The less milk they get, the less milk mom’s body produces.
          If a mom decides to put off feeding say, 30 minutes to finish her shopping and get to a “private area” not only is everyone angry that her baby is screaming through the store, but it’s entirely possible her milk supply can take a hit.
          Yes, demand (I prefer the word cue) feeding is, in fact, instant feeding. That’s just what our babies and our bodies were made to do.
          Educate yourself a little bit on how breastfeeding and biology work.

          • We had a log. It was very accurate. Our children cried very little for food after 2 weeks because we would feed our child a few minutes ahead of time. Babies just like every other living creatures create a natural schedule and unless your baby jumped up and did side straddle hops that day there will not be much change.

        • Kasandra says:

          “And no where did it say feed the moment they are hungry. It says let them determine a feeding time”

          Wouldn’t feeding them the moment they are hungry be letting them determine a feeding time?

          Yes.

          Nonya, because you seem to be so opinionated on breastfeeding mothers and how they shouldn’t feed in public, let me ask you this- Do you also agree that bottle fed babies and their mothers should only be allowed to feed their children in designated areas? I’m trying to understand if you just have a problem with babies in general, or if you’re one of those assholes that has issues with breastfeeding because you lack the maturity to look away or feel your right to not “see” (and I use that word loosely as it’s hard to see anything when a baby is nursing) anything trumps a baby’s right to eat when they are hungry.

          • point to the quote where i said i was again nip. ill wait.

          • Maybe YOUR babies were inclined to keep a schedule, Nonya. Others would LOVE to be so lucky, but that is simply not the norm, log or no log.

    • Alexandra P says:

      If a formula fed baby were to freak out in the middle of a shopping aisle, would you expect the mom to rush her crying hungry baby to the washroom or a nursing room ? Doubtful and sounds ridiculous to me.

      If she’s like some of my friends, she would most-likely have prepared the hot water and formula beforehand and mixed it together right there in the aisle or at least somewhere else in the store in full view of the public, and not be expected to go behind closed doors, period.

      • Well if we are substituting formula thats like a person walkojg an isle eating a snickers. BF is like a person setring up a table and eating a 3 course meal. Kinda strange huh?

        • Courtney says:

          Honestly, no, that’s not what the difference is between BFing and formula. Formula is a breast milk substitute… Not an unhealthy midday snack for a breastfeeding baby. Generally speaking, babies are either breastfed, or formula fed (unless there is some sort of supplementation going on because of medical reasons or other extenuating circumstances) so your comparison of formula to a snickers bar doesn’t really hold up. Unless you know someone who would consider feeding their child only snickers bars…

          I think the main issue here is that if NIP and this general topic of discussion is something that offends you, then you’re probably on the wrong site–you’re going to get very aggravated here!

          • Ok snickers was a bad substitute. The same still applies. Both are substitutes for whole meals

          • Your clarification sounds worse than the original statement. So formula isn’t the same as giving a ‘real meal’? Putting down formula parents too? Wow

        • nonya, you are being completely ridiculous. First, you say that you don’t eat anywhere other than at home or a designated eating place. Assuming I believe that for one second, congratulations on being one of the few people in the world that are able to say that. Fortunately for everyone else, this is completely acceptable.

          Then, when another person points out that a formula-fed baby can get fed in an aisle and no one bats an eye, you change your argument to that being acceptable because it’s like someone walking down an aisle eating a candy bar (which you supposedly never do and seem to think no one should, but apparently acknowledge that happens so it’s ok), but breastfeeding in public still isn’t ok because it’s like setting up a table and eating a three course meal. You couldn’t be more wrong in this regard. First, in my experience, it was actually far easier and convenient to nurse my child in a sling while shopping than try to shop and hold his bottle while carrying him in the sling (of course, this was because I refused to leave him in the baby seat and prop the bottle). Also: a bottle of formula and the breast are both a meal to a baby. The way in which it is delivered doesn’t make a difference as far as what they are taking in in terms of nutrition. To call one a “snack” (and therefore acceptable to you) while the other is a “meal” (which you feel makes it unacceptable) just makes you look ignorant. Of course, all your typos aren’t exactly helping you out in this regard, either.

          It seems to me that you are just uncomfortable with the idea of nursing in public, and are trying to come up with rationalizations for this objection other than the fact that you think it’s icky. Fortunately, more intelligent people than you are in charge of the policy-making. Please get a life.

          • Point out where I said I eat in an aisle after I said I didnt. I dont walk naked down the street. Doesnt nean others dont. So you were saying?

          • Hear, hear! I, too, have nursed my babies wherever they got hungry–and pushing a cart with my older child(ren) through Costco, doing the grocery shopping, while nursing the baby in a sling was a VERY normal event–and few people ever realized the baby was eating (I used to have to warn people who wanted to peek into the sling to see the baby). A grocery shopping trip simply consumed more time than the interval between two feedings.

        • I feel like I need to remind you first and foremost that the ONLY reason women even have breasts is to feed their children. That’s it. So no, breastfeeding isn’t “kinda strange”. Not even a little bit. And secondly, since you’re fixated on the whole “babies can wait” topic, have you ever attempted negotiation with a screaming five month old? If my baby is screaming bloody murder and I’m not even half way through my groceries and I only have an hour to get them, I’m not going to leave my cart and go hide away to protect you because you’re too ignorant to deal with the fact that I’m using my breasts for what they were designed for. Actually, even if I had all day to get groceries, I still wouldn’t hide away to feed my child. He’s hungry, I have shit to do, let’s kill two birds.

          Finally, there may or may not be scholarly articles articulating damage done to babies when they have to wait to be fed (I don’t have time to look, but if you have a password – and I’m assuming you don’t- you can check on a medical website for scholarly articles such as PubMed) however I can give you some information on what happens to mothers when they wait to feed. Your body produces milk to feed your child anyway. Your milk ducts are a very warm, dark environment, and if your milk is sitting there for a long period of time to help keep some closed minded asshole comfortable, one of two things can happen: 1. You can develop a blocked duct which can quickly turn into mastitis because it is an environment excellent for growing bacteria. Your entire body is an environment excellent for growing bacteria. A blocked duct on its own is horrendous. It’s a hard, painful lump in the breast, can be hot to touch and red. Mastitis is an infection that brings along fever, chills, and can even turn to sepsis if not treated with antibiotics. 2. Your milk could dry up and it could affect your supply. Breast milk is produced on a supply and demand type of deal. The more your baby feeds, the more your body produces. If you skip a feed or wait on ignorant morons, your body could mistake that for weaning your child and your supply could drop.

          So it’s not just “wahh wahh, why can’t you wait like I can?” Your sandwich that’s in the designated area that you eat in, is not going to turn into an angry infection or disappear if you wait. My baby’s food might. And also, it’s none of your business. You clearly know very little about the way a woman’s body works and how babies function, so perhaps you should use this site for education or take your comments elsewhere. You have no business giving Breastfeeding advice or suggestions.

          • Here are all the problems with your statements. One. I never said breasts were for anything else. So perfectly invalid and pointless on your part. Two. I never said hide away. But when there is a place for it and you say no just because then I have a problem. Three. I never said wait hours. I said a child will not be harmed waiting a few seconds. If it takes 5 mins to get to a nursing room and that is why your milk dried up guess what. It was going to happen no matter what. For thousands of years we have as people done two things. Eaten and dedicated. Both were done out in public. One got a designated area made because we didnt like the smell. And no one is going to say “well we have a bathroom on tgis building but that guy had to go in the middle of tge aisle or he wouldve died!” I have no problem with nip I have a problem with people who do it for tge shock factor and refuse to use a room that is for it just because they can and and have no other good reaaoj besides that.

          • DragonMama says:

            Actually, you forgot possiblity 3: leakage. I have a strong letdown reflex. If baby makes hungry noises and i don’t put baby to breast pretty darn quickly, I’ll have wet shirt issues. Damn nursing pads slide out of place all the time and irritate the crud out of my skin so I don’t wear them. The sounds of other people’s hungry babies when my own baby isn’t around are enough to have me quickly pressing an arm to my chest to try to keep from having milk squirt. Delaying feeding your baby until you get to some place halfway across a large building while the baby is crying to be fed just because some hypothetical boob-phobic snothead might get offended is being inconsiderate to all the other lactating women in *earshot* (which is a much greater range than *eyeshot*).

            nonya go exercise your neck muscles. Babies don’t have the ability to tell time or delay gratification. Look elsewhere. When a woman is feeding her child while getting other errands run she’s just parenting not putting on a show – regardless if she’s feeding her child with goldfish crackers, a bottle, or her boobs. It’s not about you or anyone else. Knock off the narcissism.

          • DragonMama says:

            and I think nonya means defecation not dedicated… and yes, for ADULTS there is a designated place for that. For babies, there’s diapers… because they can’t wait for THAT either.

          • Why do men have breasts? Honest question, I’m not antagonizing.

    • I never go anywhere without sucking on a giant Starbucks iced latte. My “cause” comes from my deep belief that it IS in fact about my child’s well-being. 🙂

      • Bravo! Let’s all be friends, shall we? (I just had a flash of nancy from weeds when you write that… Have you watched weeds? Always with an iced frap…).

      • Dragon moma. Go read my comments. Never said I have a problem with nip

        • “I never said hide away. But when there is a place for it and you say no just because then I have a problem.”
          There is a nursing room in my local supermarket, I won’t use it “just because” nursing is natural, necessary and I have shopping to do.
          Do you always check if there’s a nursing room wherever you are so you can judge any nursing mamas who decide not to use it?

          • You have a comprehension problem I see. If your schedule is tight fine. If the room is nasty fine. If you j
            Just walked in the store and they have an excellent room and you say. ” im not using it just because.” Or ” someone may think I’m supposed to. ” (which is bs because people on this page constantly say they don’t care what people think, so why bother now?) Thats the problem I have. Not with nip. But witg that attitude. Get it yet?

          • I think we have given you plenty of reasons more than “just because”.

            I think the point is, I’m not going to use that room “just because” I don’t want to and that’s okay 🙂

    • Most of the places women are harassed about breastfeeding aren’t store aisles. They’re places like restaurants and coffee shops and bookstores, where grown people are already allowed to eat (in the bookstores that’d be in the cafe section, but I’ve been able to walk around B&N with a coffee drink in my hand and no one kicks me out, so…). Unless you’re trying to argue infants are not people, you can STFU about special eating places for them.

      By the way, if I had a hungry kid in a grocery store and some of what I was buying was snacks for them, I most certainly would open a box of crackers or whatever before I got to checkout if it meant the difference between them having a meltdown and them being quiet and letting me finish shopping. And yes I would pay for the crackers. Lots of moms do that. I’ve done it for myself as a full-grown adult on the rare occasion I’ve just had a bad day and am really thirsty or something. Open the drink, work on it on the way to checkout and have them scan the bottle so I can pay for it. I have yet to be busted for shoplifting, too, because that’s not what it is.

      What I’m trying to say is people already don’t eat in designated areas because this is not f?!king fascist Italy* and it’s more important to meet basic physical needs than it is to care that someone might get butthurt about a completely arbitrary rule. Meanwhile, do YOU ever eat a meal in a public bathroom? I highly doubt it. So grow up and get the f?!k over yourself.

      [*Heading the Godwin’s Law accusations off at the pass and shaking things up a bit, not that most people even know what Godwin’s Law says…]

      • Secomd time ive had to say I never mentioned eating in a bathroom thank you. Now piss off. Also if you have tp feed your child to get them to behave you have other problems

        • Dina Quinn says:

          I am just wondering, is there anything you are NOT judging other mothers on? So breastfeeding in public is bad (if there’s a room available), bottle feeding a baby is not a “normal meal”, giving your toddler a snack during a hungry meltdown is wrong. Feeding your baby “instantly” is wrong too. You seem very demanding towards other mothers and especially towards children. I personally think you do not have children, but if you do I feel rather sorry for them, to be honest.
          You demand scientific proofs for instant feeding. I am saying that only proof a MOTHER needs is her heart. I fed my daughter at the first demand when she was a baby, I gave her snacks in the supermarkets, restaurants, cinemas, offices, trains, parks, museums etc. to avoid meltdowns, I co – sleep with my child still, who is now 3 (gasp!). And guess what?! It’s none of your business! I decide how to bring up MY child, I decide whether I want to publicly share MY decisions, and I decide what is right or wrong for MY family. So if you don’t like it – tough! Because, your liking, disliking, judging or whatever else – ing does not make any difference. If anything it’s just shows me that I am doing something right – not being like you.

          Kind regards from London, UK

          • Poijt where ive said of that is wrong. Ive said the attitude of the post. But you keep on picking for straws 😉

    • So nonya, from what you said I take it that if I were out grocery shopping, cart full of groceries, refrigerated, frozen, canned, ect., and my child started crying because he is hungry, and I’m almost done shopping and getting ready to wait in the check out line, and the grocery store offers a nursing room, I am to stop what I’m doing, and go to the designated nursing room and sit there for 30 minutes to an hour nursing my son, meanwhile my cart with cold milk and frozen food just sits while the milk gets warm and frozen foods unthaw. Because the nursing room is there and I should use, even though it would actually be very inconvenient and very foolish to do. Or would you suggest I make my child wait 15 minutes to who knows how long it takes to finish shopping and leave to nurse my son? Maybe I should run around and put all refrigerated or frozen items back, and then run with my screaming child to the nursing room? When in reality it would be easier to nurse my son while I finish shopping, wait in the checkout line, have the cashier ring me up, and be on my way.
      This is not about her saying fuck you to anyone and boasting her female protected law. It’s about protecting mothers from people like you, who would tell them to use the nursing room because it’s there. Even though it may not be what is easiest, or most sensible. Children have the right to be fed anywhere as needed. Yes, sometimes it would be nice to have a comfortable place out in public to sit and nurse, but most of the time it would be an inconvenience. The author is concerned that widespread development of nursing rooms will cause more people to insist breastfeeding mothers always use them, no matter what.
      And to your later comments about how humans have designated rooms for urinating and defecating. It’s ashamed that people try to make comparisons between the two. Last time I checked, no one goes out to eat, or at home makes a shit sandwich and washes it down with a cup of hot pee. So why compare nursing rooms to restrooms when they would be used for two very different purposes? It’s a little bit absurd.

      • Well said!!

      • Because both are required to live

        • Nope, wrong. She took it exactly as written. I have been going through reading all your comments and responses to other people addressing you and I am seeing a trend. Someone will write out a very sensibly worded post outlining the benefits of simply nursing a child when and where they want to, etc. You then respond by picking one tiny little part of their entire post and ignore the real questions and good points. You don’t seem to be interested in actually educating yourself on the right answer, but rather deflecting and distracting from those real questions. It shows a very big lack of strength in your point of view.

          • You mean like has been done to me? ( focusing on where I eat to avoid the poiny that its noy about the baby to refuse nursojg rooms due to fear of someome assuming its required) and all these “valid poijts” have been opinions. Not medical facts. Ive said idk how many times now I dont have a problem with nip. Never did. My problem is with the attitude of the moyhers here who have made it more about themselves. The same ones who keep trting to accuse me of having issues with nip and try to argue that. Bexause they know they cant win the other way so they are trying to oaint me as an evil anti breastfeeder instead of the truth

    • Aside from the glaringly obvious holes in your argument that I’ll let others destroy; wha about the places that don have nursing rooms? I know of two stores that have nursing rooms, neither are stores that I need to go to even n a monthly basis. Imagine all grocery stores being required to create nursing rooms and how many of those would be disgusting closets that their only difference from the bathroom is that there is no toilet and they aren’t checked hourly like the are required to for bathrooms.

      • Again….. I HAVE NO PROBLEM WITH NIP!!! I HAVE HAVE A PROBLEM WITH MOTHERD REFUSING TO USE ONE JUST BECAUSE SOMEONE MIGHT THINK IT WAS REQUIRED! !! there. Was that clear? ? Hope so.

        • Kasandra says:

          So as long as there isn’t a nursing room, you’re okay with mothers and babies exercising their rights to nurse where they are legally allowed to be. But, if there’s a nursing room then you have a problem with it. Got it.

        • I HAVE NO PROBLEM WITH NIP!!! I HAVE HAVE A PROBLEM WITH MOTHERD REFUSING TO USE ONE JUST BECAUSE SOMEONE MIGHT THINK IT WAS REQUIRED! !! there. Was that clear? ?

          What is clear is that you don’t understand, you cannot say “I have no problem with NIP” and then proceed to explain a problem you have with NIP (which in your case is her reason for not using a private room). Either you;re okay with NIP or you aren’t, and if you aren’t then you are on the wrong side of the argument.

          • Nope. Nip and mothers attitude are different. Try harder?

          • 98Juliet says:

            Honestly who cares why a mother chooses to not use a nursing room, it is her choice to use it or not. I really think being upset about mothers that don’t want to use them is irrational. I breastfed my daughter and have used nursing rooms and at times not used them also. It is a free world, and choosing how and when to feed your child is in my opinion the most special right a woman has.

    • Yourmorethanstupid says:

      I take it you don’t have any children? Because if you did you would know they most definitely cannot wait. Try watching a friends infant and you would see they go completely ballistic, you don’t need a study to tell you that. Every doctor and lactation consultant tells you to nurse before they start to freak out, but hey what do they know, bring on the study! Your rediculous and by the way please don’t actually watch anyone’s infant because you obviously should not be responsible for the well being of a child

    • Nonya,

      A few points:

      The cause isn’t about where a child eats. The cause is normalizing nursing so people as yourself don’t balk at a child eating.

      Nursing rooms are not designated child eat areas. That’s just silly to suggest no human eat but in a designated area.

      You asked for a peer reviewed study about infants waiting half a second (do you think mothers travel faster than light speed?). There are such studies. They encompass stress on the infant brain and how an infants immediate needs must be met as soon as physically possible. If an infant needs the breast and alerts the parent, the parent has a primary selfless responsibility to tend to that need. No debate. This means, you whip out the breast and let the infant feed. Because undue stress on that infant is damaging. There are risks associated with delaying gratification for an infant. Peer reviewed journals back this.

      Learn about the laws in the U.S. that counter your ignorance and allow nursing in public.

      Thanks.

      • Yet you gave no source. And go read to enlighten your ignorance. I never stated I have a problem with nip. Just the general attitude of this group. So yea. Want to echo what everyone else has falsely stated again?

    • Sarah S. says:

      Nonya,

      I don’t normally get involved in these sorts of discussions but wanted to address a few of your points.

      1. You’re right. Abby has an agenda. She is quite clear about that agenda: To normalize breastfeeding. She advocates for the rights of mother to nurse wherever they choose to and for babies to be allowed to nurse wherever they happen to be hungry. It’s not just for the babe in her arms but as a show of solidarity to other nursing moms, or moms who hope to nurse, or moms who are made to feel like nursing is dirty. It’s to show men and women alike that nursing is a normal biological function and should not be considered dirty, something to be done in private. When we, as a society, normalize breastfeeding, we are increasing the odds that breastfeeding rates in the U.S. will go up. And when we, as individuals, breastfeed in public for everyone and their momma to see, we just might get someone thinking, talking, researching about breastfeeding. We may not make an impact on everyone, but it doesn’t mean we won’t make an impact on someone. So, yes, Abby has an agenda. But agenda is not a four letter word and the fact that you have a problem with her agenda is, well, your problem. Why are you here?

      2. Equating formula feeding to a “quick snack” and breastfeeding to “a three course meal laid out on the dinner table” makes me question if you’ve ever breastfed. Breastfeeding requires no food preparation; formula feeding does. Breastfeeding requires no feeding utensils or dishes of any kind; formula feeding does. I don’t understand the analogy that you are trying to present and I’m not sure that you could convince me that formula is equivalent to eating a snack while walking down the aisle. Keep in mind that breastfeeding is not necessarily a stationary activity. If it were, my life would be chaos.

      3. “Nothing factual uses the word “may.”” Well, that’s just plain wrong. Go look on the surgeon general’s warning on a carton of cigarettes and you’ll see the word “may,” as in may cause serious health problems and birth defects. The reason it says “may” is because not all people who smoke develop health problems. That doesn’t make the statement “Smoking is bad for you health,” any less accurate. You may die in a car accident if you don’t wear your seat belt; then again, you may not. That doesn’t mean that putting your seat belt on isn’t the safe thing to do. Your rejections of a study based on the word “may” is ridiculous and based on a desire to prove your point.

      4. As someone has already pointed out, the sort of studies that you are demanding don’t exist because it would be unethical to perform studies of that nature. So the best I can do is give you some well thought out extrapolations based on different studies and information out there. First, if an infant is crying because they are hungry, they are past the initial phases of hunger. That is why, if an infant is crying because they are hungry, you have very little time before things get hairy. Second, we know that when a baby is crying, it is a stressed out baby: it’s levels of cortisol goes up, it can affect brain development, and may result in an older child who has trouble managing stress. Don’t worry, I’m providing articles that I’m sure you’ll reject because they use words like “may.” Go back to number three. Now, there is no doubt that, sometimes, parents don’t have a choice but to let their baby cry. Maybe they’re in the car while the baby is crying. Maybe mom/dad need a shower and no one can hold the baby. Or maybe mom/dad can’t handle the crying anymore and need to walk away for a few minutes to collect themselves. In those instances, the baby isn’t any less stressed out, but no one is going to dispute that car seats are safer, mom/dad need to practice basic hygiene every now and then, and the stress of crying is much more preferable to mom/dad losing it because of the stress they are under. The question becomes why is it important to allow the baby to cry an extra five or ten minutes for mom to get to an appropriately designated food consumption area? Why allow your baby to be stressed out for even a moment longer than they have to? That’s a personal choice and I don’t think anyone has a right to answer that question for any family. Your question seems to be “why not?” My answer to you is because I choose not to, and since I don’t have to, I won’t.

      http://www.parentingscience.com/infant-feeding-schedule.html
      http://evolutionaryparenting.com/what-you-need-to-know-about-crying-it-out/

      • I dont have a question. Just want people here to admit its about them not their child thanks for validating

    • Here’s a scenario for you… I just nursed my baby at home in hopes of getting to the store and back without baby getting hungry… About halfway through the grocery store surprise! Baby wants to eat! I quickly grab a couple more must get items and get to the longest checkout lane ever, because their always the busiest when you have an upset baby. I have the following options: a. Nurse baby while I wait in line (baby happy, me happy and no leaking all over myself as i tend to let down as soon as my baby cries) b. leave the store and hope the clerk won’t put everything away while I nurse in my car then come back and probably have to start my shopping trip over since the clerk who promised I could leave my cart near checkout went on break in the twenty minutes I fed my baby and everything got put back) or c. Let my baby scream and claw at my breast wanting to eat while we wait in line…. Hmmm, decisions decisions! I think I will go with A! And from my experience (mom of four) people get a lot less upset about a baby nursing than about a screaming one!

    • Haters gonna hate. Ain’ters gonna ain’t!

    • Carmen D says:

      Nonya i agree, there are places to eatand places not to. I would not feel comfortable taking my family to a place be it a zoo, park,mall, etc..so the can have some over eager breast show right in their faces. If anything and you want to feed your child i would prefer a place where there is a section for just that. Like when you could go out to eat and there was smoking and non smoking section. I dont want to explain why theres a giant titty nipple and a kid trying to gulp and breathe or a giant kid and giant titty where the kids sucking it dry, and pinching the other nipple with great delight. Dont wanna aee it. Go somewhere with that. If my kids wanna bfeed their own, i dont wanna see do it elsewhere.

  7. I completely agree I won’t be using these rooms either. I have the right to feed my child wherever and whenever she wants.

  8. Badass on Abbey!

  9. Someone needs a hug.

  10. I also worry that the existence of a nursing room means people and businesses will assume that I should not or cannot nurse whenever and wherever my baby needs to.
    That is the issue here, to make sure it is possible for mothers to feed their babies when needed.
    And saying “infant restaurant” is about half a step away from saying “negro restaurant”. I hope you wouldn’t try to tell someone they can only eat there.

    • I understand the right to nurse in public, but I am much more comfortable nursing in private. I worry about the fact that if no one utilizes the private rooms that have been established for nursing, they will disappear! I would be upset if that happens. 🙁 I am not comfortable “whipping it out” in public. I do realize that some are absolutely fine with it and it in no way offends me. I do hope however that the male species is taken into consideration. Now, I know I’ll probably hear a lot of…”if they don’t like it look away” and other such comments. What we as women need to remember is unfortunately the female body HAS IN FACT been oversexualized and many men are VERY sexual creatures, many don’t need the temptation to look at another woman’s breasts for ANY reason. If we could stop and consider how a sexual thought begins, I really think we would all be better for it. If ever I need to nurse in public I WILL do so, however in consideration for other women’s husbands and other men, I choose to cover up. 🙂 Just my thoughts.

      • Kasandra says:

        Regardless of the fact that women AND men’s bodies have been oversexualized, I hold ourselves to the standards that we are not cavemen and are capable of seeing a flash of skin without reacting sexually. The more breastfeeding is seen in ANY form, the less taboo it becomes and the more that everyone- other women, men, and children- simply see it as a normal way to feed your child.

    • Carmen D says:

      Did you just have the balls to compare infant restaurant to a negro restaurant? You are really pathetic. You should slap yourself with your titty you twit. Nobody is killing babies who suckle mommys breast like they did during lynching, slavery, or putting hoses on people, dogs, beating them for being African American. And you compare your child and your breast to this? What about people who dont want to see your titty? Why cant you feed your baby however you like and stillbe discreet

  11. Carrie Trenholm says:

    Nonya, would you think a mother giving her child a bottle in the aisle is innappropriate? No because when it comes to a you child or infant their need to eat it more urgent. A nursing room is not like a restarant for infants, it is a place in which you can nurse privately. Segregating the mother and the child from the rest of the public. But it would be perfectly acceptable if it was a bottle the child was drinking from and not a breast? Just curious…

    • Ill wait for that accredited study showing if an infant doesnt eat the second they are hungry that they will suffer damage.

      • You were given a link to a study, you belligerent troll. Clearly you care little about the needs of children, nursing mothers, or essentially anyone that isn’t you. Your inability to argue a point coherently but determination to repeatedly argue all the same disgusts me. Sell crazy somewhere else, we’re all stocked up here.

        • No I was given a link that says “may” not a hard facts study. It also says nowhere in it that if they are not fed that instant that it will cause damage. So im still waiting you billigerent woman.

          • Nonya, have you ever been in a store, restaurant or on a plane and heard someone’s baby screaming bloody murder, and thought to yourself, gee I wish that baby would stop crying. When a baby is hungry all they do is scream until they get fed. Sometimes if you wait too long, even when you give them a bottle or the breast they’ve worked themselves up so much that they don’t latch on. As previously stated some babies can feed for more than an hour, it’s completely unreasonable to expect people to not go out and participate in their lives purely because someone will be offended for 30 Seconds. I don’t have children and I have opinions about how old I think is too old to be breast feeding etc. The great thing about an opinion is you can have one and can be sure to exercise whatever that opinion is with your own children, just like these mothers choose to do. If a mother has to wait to breastfeed in order to find a nursing room, she’ll be dealing with a screaming child, sore and leaking breasts and the distress of having to deal with all of that while im sure having to contend with people like you who probably stare and make comments about shutting up that baby. Or she can quickly breastfeed and move on with her day. Oh I just have one question for you. Would you mind asking your mum if you were breast or bottle baby, and If you were fed strictly at a table in a restaurant/kitchen environment? I’m wondering if your mum did what these loving mums did in making sure you were fed loved and nourished when you needed it and not when the general public felt like it was appropriate.

          • Dorlinda ive stated I have no problem with nip. So you were saying?

      • If you are not comfortable with yourself and want your baby to wait then that’s your choice. It might not hurt the baby to wait a bit but why wait when you don’t have to. I am on baby #3. With my first I was young and shy so I would use the cover and nursing rooms. With my second I still covered with the sling but didn’t need the rooms. Now I don’t give a flipping f_*@ what other people think and wished I would have felt like this with my other two. Baby steps.

      • courtney says:

        Nonya…you said you don’t have a problem with nip, just when mothers choose to not use a nursing room if it’s provided because they are just trying to cause shock, right? Well, I have a problem with people who comment online just for the argument factor. Buzz off.

        • And I have problem with people who take an article out of context and post it to try to prove their argument. So buxz off.

        • And I have problem with people who take an article out of context and post it to try to prove their argument. So buxz off.

      • If I didn’t feed my baby when she started to cry for a feed and went for a hike to a parents room she would get too frantic to feed properly and I would be stressed by the crying and the problematic feed.

        New mothers are actively encouraged to feed their baby during the early hungry signs. By waiting for baby to cry they may be too distressed to feed properly and it takes a lot to calm them down enough for them to feed.

        • So maybe learn their eating habits and attempt to feed a few minutes prior to keep them from crying?? Nah. Makes too much sense

          • Many babies do not have ‘eating habits’. When they feel hungry or thirsty they ask for milk. On a hot day or during developmental leaps it can be frequent and unexpected.

          • And, if I do see a feed may be coming up I offer one. She may refuse. Personally I am not going to trek to a parents room to simply offer a feed. Have you ever had to leave a social setting such as lunch at a cafe with friends or family to go sit alone in an often dark and smelly room? By the time you get there, feed and return your meal is cold and everyone is on to coffee and preparing to leave. Very isolating, and makes formula very tempting.

          • Stephanie says:

            My 4 mo son doesn’t eat whenever I want him to. I always attempt to feed him before we get in the car, go in the store, etc. However, he is teething and fussy, so he hardly ever eats when I offer it before doing something like that. If he ends up wanting to nurse in the middle of the store then so be it. You keep saying you don’t have a problem with nursing in public BUT it’s a problem if the woman doesn’t use the nursing room just because she doesn’t want to. That right there is you having a problem with a woman nursing in public.

  12. I feel comfortable to eat a sandwich on the go. Or slurp my iced coffee in the park. Or whatever. I don’t feel I only can eat at home or at a restaurant. I like picnics and I eat ice cream while having a stroll through old-town.
    And when my child is hungry or thirsty or simply needs a comfort only nursing can offer, I don’t say – hush, little one, be patient, there is no nursing room here. As well as I don’t feel that infants, breastfed or bottlefed, need a separate designated area for they needs.
    I don’t need the right to breastfeed wherever I choose to. I am not the one that makes choices here. My baby does. And he has the right to nurse when he needs to wherever it might be.
    I am happy and grateful that through 10 months of our breastfeeding journey there was only one person to suggest us to go to other room, to which I politely declined. Most feel don’t care, or they don’t look. And if they do – they smile. And I hope it stays this way for us. But even if it don’t (because the baby is getting older, and there eventually might be strange looks or snarky comments) – we don’t care, we will keep on nursing as we please.
    And I am not a hippy nor anarchist nor rebel nor exhibitionist. And I do not try to prove a point. I am just a mom doing her job. And a baby, who – as we all – needs food and comfort.
    And I am not covering myself nor my baby. Neither I am flopping my boobs around. And it is quite sad that there are people, who, instead of seeing a beautiful bond between mom and a baby whose needs are met in most natural way possible, see some strange sexual improper things. Or whatever they see. I just suggest you not to go to the beach or the pool because you might actually see a little bit more of me (and everyone else) there then you see when I am nursing my child 😉

    • I never once mentioned skin. But its the goto for feminist breastfeeders. ” wemon show more in bathing suites ” ” half the women on fb show way more.” No one gives two shits about your boohooing of ” but mom. Look what he did” argye breastfeeding. Thats the topic. Next you will say. ” but they have nude beaches in the world.” I dont go to nudr beaches. I don’t approve of nude beaches. And I dont like women who dress like sluts. So lets stay on topic shall we?

      • I am sorry I assumed you were bother by skin. It’s the only reason I can think of anyone might be bothered by nursing in public.

        • P.S. It was not directly meant to you (even though it sounds like it), by “you” I mean all those breastfeeding haters 😉

        • I dont mind nip when there is no ther option. When there is a well designated option but mothers are all ” no because someone will think its mandatory” I have the same tolerance as they do. None. My children could easily eat on the couch for their convenience. But they have a designated eating area. The table.

          • Nonya, are you then also offended by infants having bottles in the grocery aisle? Should they too have to go to a feeding room? If so, perhaps we could have a “bottle feeding room” too. Imagine that, some store employee stopping a mom holding a bottle propped for the baby while trying to shop. “Excuse me mam, you’ll have to take your baby back to the bottle feeding room….” Your argument is ridiculous. They are infants. They lack reason ans impulse control. If it’s ok to feed one in one manner, then it should go for the other as well.

          • Nonya, to say you have no tolerance means what, exactly? Gonna keep yelling at folks on the internet? Approach breastfeeding mothers in public? Stop. Please. You sound nuts.

          • Nonya,

            I’ve been following your comments with interest, trying to figure out exactly what your point has been in all of your responses. This post right here seems to be the one in which you finally get to your point.
            You feel that there are designated places for people of all ages to eat, and that we need to make sure to follow these guidelines. Unless there is absolutely no other option, a mother should take care to utilize feeding rooms for her baby, as that is the designated area.
            I live in Singapore, so I understand a person who has never eaten outside of a public eating area or home. It is the law to do so here. Yet, this law does not apply to babies. Luckily this “Fine City” sees babies in another category than those who consciously make choices.
            You seem to be most upset with women who are inspired by a “feminist” movement to assert their womanly rights to do womanly things wherever and whenever.
            But I think that we need to take a step back here for a moment. Is this really a “radical” thing to be feeding babies so openly in places not suitable for feeding? Is this a new thing?
            In my anthropological research on mothering and breastfeeding, I’ve found that only in the past decade has this whole breastfeeding thing been made into a “big deal”. Prior to the introduction of mass marketed formula, women and babies could be seen in many public places breastfeeding and no one even noticed because it was normal. No big deal. Women in the Victorian era opened their waistcoats to their babies while sitting in the pew at church and nobody minded. Puritan women lifted their shirts to their nursing young ones in the market and nobody minded.
            This is not an ultra-feminist, stick-it-to-the-men, radical movement at all. This is a desire to get back to what once was considered normal. As mammals, it is our normal to be able to nourish and nurture our young with our breasts. It is not radical for my cat to nurse her kittens on my living room floor or for the monkeys in the park to be walking around nursing their babies in front of me and my family. It is a normal mammalian behavior.
            I understand that you prefer for things to be more black and white and orderly across the board. Unfortunately, most of the human race is messy in this way. And when it comes to our young, it is very messy.
            Also, I would like to address the statement you made about breastfeeding being like setting up a three course meal. This is, in fact, not true. Babies and toddlers nurse not just to have a full meal. They nurse when they are thirsty. They nurse when they need a little snack. They nurse when they are cold. They nurse when they are scared. They nurse when they are tired. They nurse when they want to feel loved and close to their mothers. This is the human mammal reality. We have tried in the past decade to change the biological make up of mankind, but that kind of drastic change takes decades of evolution. And some of us would prefer to be our normal selves.
            I do not ask you to turn your head. Feel free to look. Because really, it is not something shameful or in need of gaping at. Nursing in a non-feeding area is no big deal.

          • Jen. Point to where ive said I was pffended

          • The reason a woman chooses to not use the rooms really don’t matter, she simply chooses not to use the rooms because she can….I don’t understand why it bothers you so that she have a really good reason not to use the rooms.

          • I kinda understand what you’re trying to say nonya, and I won’t disagree that people or babies can eat whenever and wherever they want it. But here is what I think…

            People have rights to do whatever they want, but mothers have their own point of view on breast-feeding that shouldn’t be limited to only nursing rooms. But others who aren’t mother even I’m a woman, to be honest, I don’t wanna see another women’s breasts. It doesn’t look good, or even gives me a feeling of seeing a porno on the street. I sometime lost appetites. Also I don’t think even if I were a mother, I wouldn’t personally feel comfortable pulling out my breasts, show the whole world just to feed my baby. I’m sure my baby doesn’t mind drinking a formulae for a meal or even two! Then I can go home and even get naked breasts feed her/him.

            We’re living in the place where there are different types, thoughts, religions, point of views etc. So there will be some people who disagree or doesn’t mind seeing moms have her breast hanging to feed their kids. However, nursing rooms which will give mothers more comfort to breastfeed her child, starring-free free room which I even think it’s a thoughtful thing of people to recognize. Or maybe, if the nursing room wasn’t recognized, there might have been a problem where mothers asked for a nursing room so they could get comfortable.

            …People just never get enough. I’m sorry but you really are. If everyone could do anything they want, this world would be a disaster. Thank god, this issue just a breastfeeding! Cmon people, moms, you weren’t discriminated by being in the nursing room. It’s for your own comfort, privacy and sexual safety issue. Because breasts don’t usually come out in the public, so they just try to put themselves in your shoes that you probably don’t want to be eye-raped. And if anyone don’t wanna see anybody’s boobs hanging, just look away.

            Once you take out your breast and people stare at you and you might say “what you staring at!” of course they stare at your breast. It’s not what you usually see on the street!! Now you complaint, if you think you have a right to breast feeding on the street so other people have a right to stair at your breast too cuz they have a right to do so. It’s in the public, just like you breast feeding in public. Except, what you do It’s a public disturbing. And it’s gross!

    • Carmen D says:

      You speak of your baby eating when and where ever to keepthem happy and what a loving bond it creates. What about other families who dont breastfeed? If we are out to eat what if i sont want to explain this to my kids? When you say its about love, do I love my baby less? Theres a time and place for everything. Also i leave little ones at home when they nor the environment will be suited for one another, last why do the breast feeding rooms smell? Odd?

    • Carmen D says:

      You speak of your baby eating when and where ever to keepthem happy and what a loving bond it creates. What about other families who dont breastfeed? If we are out to eat what if i sont want to explain this to my kids? When you say its about love, do I love my baby less? Theres a time and place for everything. Also i leave little ones at home when they nor the environment will be suited for one another, last why do the breast feeding rooms smell? Odd?

  13. I will say that they are EXTREMELY convenient for those of us who have little wiggle worms that get distracted by noises and movement when they are eating. It is also really nice to have a quiet place to change diapers and chill out with a stressed baby. I definitely NIP, but sometimes it’s nice that businesses acknowledge moms and babies need a private area.

    • amy. you didnt follow well. or you would know i have yet to say i have a problem with nip. see if a mother is mid shopping fine by me. if its a nasty room for nursing. fine by me. if she has just walked in the store that has a very nice nursing room and she is just. nope. then i have a problem. its about the baby. youre going to tell me the child would be more comfortable in one arm or sling being moved around while the mother is grabbing groceries off a shelf with lots of noise. or better in a low lit quite room with a rocking chair and two arms from the mother bracing the baby? yea. i figured. but its not about the baby. its about a woman doing it wherever SHE pleases. not because its best for the baby. thats my problem.

      • Many babies prefer to be fed where they can see what’s going on, rather than in a quiet, dark room.

      • Are you Nonya or nunya? I’m confused by the changing of names. And I never said you had a problem with NIP. I was pointing out that you stated you DIDN’T have a problem with NIP *when there is no other alternative*.

        I’m also confused by the seeming back-pedaling I’m reading from you. First you state that “Well I dpnt stuff my face in an aisle. I got to a designated food court or home or a restaurant. A nursing room is an infant restaurant.” and ” But when there is a place for it and you say no just because then I have a problem. ” Now you say that mothers nursing while in the middle of shopping is fine with you. I’m having a hard time meshing these two statements.

        Also, I am not child-centric in my parenting, so no. It is not always about the baby. I can attend to my children while also attending to other needs. This is life and it’s reality and it goes on to show that breastfeeding is NO BIG DEAL. By *having* to go to a room and adjust the lighting *just so* and have a specific pillow and specific chair and the right music playing. Oh my goodness! This make breastfeeding into a VERY BIG DEAL.

        Show me the nursing rooms for the mothers in African countries. Or how about Mexico and Peru. How dare they make a stink by adamantly nursing their babies while doing other things!! Don’t they know they NEED TO think of their babies’ needs first and go to a specially made nursing room?

        I love my children. I definitely put their needs high on my priority list. But, I also have needs. My husband has needs. My other children have needs. This means my world does not revolve around my babies. I take care of them while taking care of every thing else. That is my job.

        • Then you are not like the rest here. Also if you are in half the situation an african mother is in. Why are you here and not farming or carrying water? Too much time on the internet for an 3rd world country citizen

          • How do you know that we aren’t all like that? I feel that pretty closely describes me as well. I don’t want the right to NIP simply because I’m into catering to my child’s every whim and allowing my world to revolve around them. I will NIP bc I have shit to do and I can’t just sit around nursing all day.

          • Carmen D says:

            Right Nonya, also in Africa the babies dont cry alot, know why? Cross feeding, most of the time if theres a crying baby belonging to a tribe someone scoops it up and feeds them on demand. Now maybe a few of these ppl should do the same huh? That way theres no worries they can have a kid suckling at all hours.

  14. I was completely throw aback when I saw a cold, concrete nursing room inside a mall bathroom at a mall in Ogden, UT. Just outside in the public area there were big comfy sofas, recliners, chairs, and tables. Why the hell would I want to feed my baby inside a room in a bathroom just because it says “Nursing Room?” No thanks. I’ll feed my baby on that big recliner because that is where I am comfortable. With that being said, why the hell would I want to feed my baby in a crowded, loud food court on some of the most uncomfortable chairs ever when there is an awesome nursing room with dim lights and cushy recliners inside IKEA? Feeding my baby is not about ME normalizing breastfeeding for everyone else. That is not MY goal. MY goal is feed MY child where I am comfortable. I have no point to prove to feed somewhere that induces a backache just because I can, and when a comfy nursing room isn’t available, I do. Kudos to you moms who are coordinated enough to breastfeed and walk at the same time, but with 38Js, that’s not a reality for me. The idea of me trying to feed and walk down a grocery aisle is laughable. It’d be like me trying to smuggle a watermelon discreetly. I appreciate those businesses who provide a comfortable area for me to sit and feed my child. Could it have been made with the intention to shelter us away from the world? Sure, but I don’t really care about that. At least they aren’t saying, “Go to your car. Go to the bathroom. Just…Go.” I don’t actively seek out nursing rooms, but I do use them (the nicer ones) when I know they are there because my back appreciates it. I don’t feed my daughter anywhere I am not comfortable, and that has nothing to do with being discreet.

    • For me, comfort is not just about physical comfort. Its about emotional as well. Yes, those food court chairs are uncomfortable. But, when I’m with friends or family at that food court, I don’t want to remove myself from everyone to feed my child. Its more emotionally comfortable for me to stay where I am, enjoy their company, and feed my child.

      • I love what Sara and Renee said. It’s all about being comfortable. I have only been bf for 12 months and multi tasking has never been a gift of mine. If I want to sit and drink my tea I’ll pick a comfortable place if I want to sit and feed my baby I’ll do the same. With that said my friends all appreciate me quieting the kid with a boob so we can continue our conversation. 🙂 I actually feel like I can be part of the chat when I don’t have to entertain him. And I say that with all the love in the world.

      • I agree Renee. I used to leave the room to nurse and but the time baby was done everything was done and I missed things, I felt secluded. (Felt like a peeper looking in) Now I nurse while engaged with everyone and it’s like night and day for me.

      • DragonMama says:

        my eldest (of 4) turns 10 next month, my youngest is still breastfeeding at 16 months old. I wear a 40H. I have breastfed in slings while wandering around retail spaces countless times -took a little practice but is totally do-able. I am also physically disabled so finding a spot to sit isn’t exactly an issue (I use a mobility scooter). I learned long ago to pick places to have a meal that will be comfortable enough for me to breastfeed without leaving the table. No one likes listening to a screaming angry hungry overstimulated baby as their mother tries to get them to the “designated breastfeeding area”. A few people have made issues of it a couple times. I ask them if there is something wrong with their neck or eye muscles that prevents them from looking elsewhere. That question coming from someone sitting in a wheelchair with a baby at the breast is kinda extra sharp I suspect!

    • I’m in the same boat as you….Im a.40f…. So I can only dream of discreetly walking and feeding in a sling. I do feed in public when I can do it comfortably, but I also tend to cove up a bit when I do, it doesn’t bother me that people see me feeding but I can only feed on the side so generally I have to ha’ve a lot more boob showing…and it isn’t always appropriate to have a giant fleshy melon out lol…I don’t cover my baby so it’s still quite clear what I am doing just the parts I don’t want out on display and so when I find a nice comfy feeding room I cherish the chance to give my baby what she needs in an environment where we are both comfortable….

    • In England we have the odd specially designated feeding rooms, and they are always in a public loo or changing room, with the gross aroma of soiled nappies that can only come from formula fed babies is wafting across your nose, you would be more inclined to feed out and about. Combined with the fact that I have worked my way into one of these awful curtained rooms only to be faced with a man bottle feeding his baby. Here in England the feeding rooms are for bottle feeders as well, they are all seen as equal.

  15. Thank you for writing this article. I couldn’t agree more with everything you said and would add one more benefit to public nursing that I recently read about in an article that brought to light that despite the popular notion that breast feeding is instinctual, it is in actuality, learned. This makes sense to anyone who has had the privilege of nursing their baby and remembers what it was like in the beginning. As with anything else, the best way to learn how to do something is to SEE it in action. This not only gives a new mom prior knowledge to use when the time comes, if she sees it often enough it is normalized, and this in turn gives her confidence, which is vital to successful nursing. In my own nursing journey, I attribute most of my desire to nurse my babies and my success in nursing to my own experience growing up and watching my mother nurse three of my younger siblings. In my experience this is just what moms do. Looking back, I realize what a beautiful gift my mother gave me (and my babies).

  16. For some moms not confident or comfortable nursing anywhere, a Nursing room is the difference between getting out of the house or not sometimes. If a diaper change is needed, it’s good to have those facilities there. And with an energetic preschooler in tow, it’s nice to have an area to “coral” him while feeding his sister. But I’ve also nursed both kids anywhere and everywhere. A hungry babe shouldn’t have to wait for a room.

  17. I really don’t think it’s segregation to ask a woman to simply cover up. Breastfeed wherever you want to, please, but you can shelter your chest so boys and men aren’t drooling over skin. Very few people would hollar at a man who went to take a leak in the woods, but if it was right in front of a playground full of kids you would. There’s no reason to go out of your way to expose yourself to try and make a point.

    • If your husband/son/whoever ogles a woman while she’s breastfeeding, someone didn’t raise them right. Mine never would. There’s nothing dirty or wrong about the human body, especially while serving as divine a purpose as motherhood. Yes, it IS too much to ask, to expect a mother to cover up her nursing baby. The sooner you (and everyone like you) become accepting of that, the closer we as a society will be to freedom.

    • Star momma says:

      I hope you don’t take boys and Men to a waterpark, hotel pool,beach or anywhere in public for that matter, way too much skin in general especially during the summer in Iowa. Also none of those people are asked to cover up to save the eyes of Boys and Men.

    • DragonMama says:

      my almost 10 year old son is only a danger of coming up and stroking a stranger’s baby’s head while they’re breastfeeding – he loves babies and does that to his little brother while he’s nursing all the time. I’d never ask someone else to change their fully functional and *legal* way of doing something for the sake of one of my kids. Yeah, sometimes a not-so-comfortable parent-child conversation is going to happen because of it but hey that’s part of raising kids in modern society. Just as likely to happen from seeing some teenagers acting in socially inappropriate ways (like playing chicken with cars in the street) as anything else.

      And I stopped trying to cover when my eldest was 2 weeks old, at which point he mastered grabbing the fabric and waving it around like a flag. Breastfeeding a baby while the baby is doing a matador impression is going in the opposite direction of “discrete” and no, you don’t get to decide how much extra baggage I need to carry while out with my little one. One of the big advantages to breastfeeding is how much smaller of luggage we moms can get away with for a day out – just a bag large enough for a couple diaper changes, no need for insulated bags large enough to carry formula, bottles, AND diapers. Heck, I’ve managed to go without a bag at all and just shoved the diaper & small wipes container into the back pocket of my jeans while heading out with the baby in a sling, not even bringing along a purse after putting wallet in my front jeans pocket. Carpenter jeans have the added advantage of a perfect cell phone pocket on the thigh so they’re part of my “mom uniform”.

    • Jeanette says:

      If your husband or son is looking they would have looked anyway. So dont get mad at us because of their lack of self control.

    • Gosh, if grown men just can’t help themselves and have to stare at the tiny bits of skin exposed when breastfeeding it might be better if they kept themselves at home for everyone’s comfort and safety!

    • My baby didnt latch well so I needed to see what she was doing and be able to re-attach her. Does it mean women whose babies dont feed as neatly and discretely cannot go out and about as they cant use a cover? Also, its far too hot and humid here for covers.

    • I, in fact, appreciate women nursing in public for the sake of my teen and preteen boys. I would much rather they see breasts normalized in this fashion than always having them hidden away or plastered on beer and cologne advertisements. If we hide them, they become secretive and alluring. If we use them to sell sexy things, they become sexy. If we use them out in the open to feed babies, they become what they are on every other mammal on earth – a part of the body designed to nourish our young.
      I’m interested in why you feel that men and boys would actually drool over a mother nursing her baby? My husband likes to reassure new fathers that once that breast is used for food, it no longer carries that sex appeal to other men (to the husband, of course it still does). We need to teach this to our boys and men, not continue to hide it away as if breastfeeding was shameful.

    • Oh please! Oggling or drooling at a the most precious and innocent, age old necessity of breastfeeding, that in itself weird and I would be more concerned about the looker than the looked. A man/boy doing that obviously wasn’t taught respect or what breasts were made for in the first place!

    • Kasandra says:

      Men and boys are NOT cavemen and are capable of not reacting sexually if they see a woman breastfeed.

    • Go out of my way to expose myself!? Get real!

      Please, if your husband or son is such a devient that he can’t help but go all crazy pants over the little bit of skin that shows while nursing, keep him at home. Definitely don’t take him to the pool or beach in the summer, he won’t be able to contain himself! Give me a break.

      I can appreciate that you think you are being supportive of breastfeeding women by saying “Yes, please BF in public, but you really should cover up.” but in reality, you are also part of the problem. We don’t need to cover up. Not for any reason other than our own comfort or the comfort of our baby. It’s just not necessary and to tell a woman otherwise is far out of line.

  18. Jennifer says:

    My mother is less than comfortable with me breastfeeding. We are going to disney world soon. She has requested that when I “have to do that” that I go to the restrooms. I told her that she won’t even know I’m feeding him. I plan on nursing him when my parents are on rides we can’t go on and on the rides and attractions we can. Surprisingly there are plenty of rides a 7 month old can be on. And if I have to sit away or behind my mom and dad well so mote it be. I will not feed in a bathroom and I will not cover his already heater like head with a blanket in Florida heat. Live ya ma but bo

    • DragonMama says:

      You should suggest that SHE go to the bathroom if you need to feed the baby while she’s not on a ride 😉 If you can find one, a gauze sling might be good for you in that heat and you can use the tail as a sun shade for him if needed. At the very least go for a 100% cotton one and you can get the tail wet to help cool him off. Unless you’re already planning to use a stroller – in which case check him frequently for heat issues and offer breast more often than you would normally if you’re from a cooler climate as dehydration is a real risk.

    • I have to say that if you ever even wanted to try a nursing room, PLEASE try the ones at Disney. They are the most wonderful places in the whole world. When it is hot, they are air conditioned, they have dozens of changing tables, quiet room, TV on for the other little ones, rocking chairs, etc. I BFed all over that park, but it was a wonderful break once or twice a day to go into that room. Everything in the world should be modeled after Disney World. 🙂 I took a 13 month old, she could ride almost everything in the Magic Kingdom it seemed. It was so wonderful, I saw BFing everywhere too.

  19. Courtney says:

    I’m breast feeding my first. She’s 5 months old now, and normally I nurse her in the car because I that’s where I’m most comfortable. I’ve yet to come across a nursing room, but I can’t say that I’d use one. I’m not quite comfortable enough to feed her uncovered yet…though I still have a while to go until she weans and I’ve lost my give-a-damn about a lot of things (mostly second guessing myself all the time and dealing with people who think breastfeeding is weird) when it comes to nursing. I loved this article.

  20. It’s not about showing off ones body. I completely agree with the author. I am so sick of driving down the street and seeing a billboard with a woman wearing a piece of clothing no bigger than an eye patch simply for entertainment purposes but the first time a mother is seen exposing one breast in an attempt to keep their child from disrupting everyone else in the supermarket it is taboo! Excuse me but something is seriously back words in our society!

  21. I have a genuine curiosity: How do pumping rooms in the workplace factor into this equation? I would love to hear your thoughts on this. My work recently provided me an amazing pumping room, even though I am the only employee at the office who pumps out of about 200 employees. I thought it was over the top, but then realized that it’s not only for me but also for the employees that come after me.

    So, what are your thoughts on pumping in public, and then also pumping at the workplace? I’m a big supporter, and do personally NIP. I even pumped in front of others at MommyCon this past weekend (you were AMAZING).

    I’d love to hear your perspective on this.

    • Honestly, I would not pump in public. Maybe at MommyCon with other mothers, but just sitting at the mall? No thanks. I don’t wish these rooms away, but I fear that they could perpetuate the idea that breastfeeding is to be hidden. I think it is great that workplaces provide rooms for pumping. Moms need to pump at work. Period. They have an obligation to cater to the comforts of the mother employee. As far as society as a whole, just us hanging out, being in public, living our lives, I would hope that we would breastfeed out in the open as much as possible to normalize breastfeeding. And thanks for your kind words about MommyCon!!!!! 🙂

    • DragonMama says:

      The Affordable Care Act included a provision that employers with more than 50 employees must provide a private non-bathroom pumping space for their employees, so your employer wasn’t going over the top, they were following the law.

      And there’s a big difference between pumping and breastfeeding. Pumps involve clear plastic through which our nipples are clearly visible and pulled into rather disturbing proportions. Pumps need to be washed and the milk refridgerated after the pump is used. Pumps also often need an outlet. These are all things that require certain architectural fixtures. Breastfeeding doesn’t require any of that hardware.

      Plus, other civilized countries provide this thing called “paid maternity leave”, for many months and in many cases a year… just sayin’.

      • Hippiemama says:

        I have pumped at festivals etc out in the open but sitting in my group of friends privately. No one even notices what is happening. If you’re discreet there’s no reason for people to find it odd. And paid mat leave is only for 4 months to a year – when the worldwide minimum standard for feeding is 2 years i think there is a need to pump / feed for a lot longer than 4 months. Also, most bfing tops cover the pump / boob anyway, so pumping in public is not that weird depending on the atmosphere, in saying that i personally wouldn’t pump walking around the shopping centre lol.

        I was in a parents room feeding to get away from the rush and heat and chaos of comic con, and a woman had a dig at me for not sitting in the curtained room! She was lucky i even used the parents room, usually i’d have done it walking around! These backward uneducated women with an issue, that compare it to defacating or urinating are definitely not helping society progress. If you say you support breastfeeding and have a ‘but’ in there (eg. BUT do it discreetly) then i’m sorry – you don’t support breastfeeding.

  22. I nurse everywhere. I do on the rare occaission use nursing rooms…liek with twins. OY. I just needed privacy and containment. Also figuring out one hard to nurse child who was also super easily distractible…I needed space.

    The rest of the time? I nurse where the baby is hungry.

  23. Wow, someone around here sure is angry and probably does need a hug!
    Anyway, great post, about a topic that has really got me thinking recently.
    I completely agree with you, Abby, and I try my best to normalise breastfeeding in my little French village where people can’t believe that you can actually still make some milk when your child is 2! But I have to say I have been struggling to nip recently as my daughter is, like Jack, a professional twiddler and insist on getting the other breast out in the open. If I try to allow her hand down my shirt, it’s not enough and she will feel constricted and won’t be happy (and acrually flail ans totally lose it!) until it’s out and she can pull and tug and pinch with complete freedom! Now, I don’t mind showing one breast when it is in baby’s mouth, but I have a hard time feeling comfortable with both out and I know people don’t understand my daughter’s need to do that… and I’m wondering how I could solve this aspect, as I really want to nip, being the ONLY one around here to do it, I feel it’s somewhat of a duty in order to educate people around me… but then I’m afraid that when they see me with both breasts out they will just be shocked and will only remember me as the nutcase who flashed her boobs and fed an older child as opposed to everyone else! Do you have any advice on this, is there any trick you have used with Jack, or anyone else with their toddler, to persuade them to leave the other nipple in public?
    I love this website and what you are doing, you are awesome!

    • DragonMama says:

      try a nursing necklace and redirect her hand to that when she goes for the other breast. You’ll also most likely have to get her to stop the twiddling at home as little ones don’t understand something being OK in one context but not in others. I nipped twiddling in the bud with all 4 of mine by redirecting to a necklace, it didn’t go on long enough to become a habit they were attached to, so not sure how well this will work with you & your little one. Good luck!

  24. I completely understand the point of the author. We need to see NIP more often for us to realize just how normal and natural this is. It’s sad that a mother has to hide in case a man is drooling? That’s just nuts, I know my partner sees me nursing and thinks it’s a beautiful thing and is proud that I have this bond with our child.
    My nursing experience has been interesting. My father and brother were put off and would leave the room whereas my father-in-law would still interact. Also, my two stepsons were shy at first and would go red with embarrassment, however, eight months in and everyone has become comfortable and it’s not even noticed; because it’s normalized.
    It’s nothing to do with feminism, nor is it to do with the right to show a boob or two! It’s all about trying to feed your child when needed while both mother and child are comfortable.

  25. AS A NURSING MOTHER I disagree nonya… this woman has given me the strength to feel comfortable to fight for my rights to express at work and helped thru challenges and any thing I have ever needed as far as breastfeeding… its not just “her cause” its the rights of us and our children to not be told we cant sit down at a restaurant and feed our baby because feeding our kids disgusted acustomer… or having a half hour appointment take 2 hours and being told we cant feed our screaming child beciase breastfeeding in public is unnacceptable to you! Its about being able to properly “demand feed” as the hospitals and pedi tell us to but rude ignort people like u think our baby should wait till we r at home or in a bathroom to eat. Do u eat in the bathroom on a public or private toilet? HECk NO! AND neither should infants. Thats her cause as u put it.. not for the females right but for every infant whos mom hasbeen humiliated and been told to go out and feed our children by a dumpster or in a public restroom

  26. DragonMama says:

    Personally, nursing rooms make me nervous for an entirely different reason – it’s segregating a very security-vulnerable part of our population and making it easier for them to be accosted. Very few nursing rooms have any kind of security, and they’re often off away from where someone would hear a yell for help or scream of terror. With all the other psychotic stuff going on in the world like people putting razor blades on playground equipment, how much longer do you think it’ll take the sociopaths to figure out that those nursing rooms are prime spots to find easy prey? Especially when a lot of the spaces are forbidden to men so fathers can’t come along to watch over their families? There are plenty of females who are sociopaths or in desperate situations where they think robbing someone is an acceptable way to get money.

    Plus, as I noted in other comments, having a baby crying loudly while trying to get to a “nursing room” is rather inconsiderate of the other lactating women in ear shot, whose let-down reflex you just triggered. Just feed your kid quietly so we can all get on with our business, please?

    I will give kudos to Cedar Point amusement park for their Family Rest Station (I think that’s what it’s called…). It’s right between the midway and one of the kid ride areas, there are two curtained-off stalls with outlets and rocking chairs for women who feel the need (or who need to pump – I believe I saw outlets in there when I glanced in, plus they have refrigeration available if needed – I have a friend whose child was born with a cleft & she pumped for her kid for over a year because he couldn’t latch). There are more rocking chairs out in an open space which also contains stationary chairs, high chairs, microwaves, and bottle warmers – and a room with Snoopy cartoons playing and a sensory table and bean bags for older siblings, with staff watching to make sure the older sibs don’t wander out of the building while parents are tending to babies. Great big well-lit changing area separate from the bathroom (so parents don’t have to wait for the bathroom to be empty to change a diaper). It’s really nicely done, and I mentioned it to them. I’ve breastfed three children all over that amusement park across the 6 years we’ve been season pass holders and never once had anyone say anything negative to me. The staff’s mindset is “it’s here if you feel you need it, and you’re welcome to be here cooling off when it’s hot & humid regardless of feeding method”. I have seen other toddlers being fed around the park on occasion, and we visited Dorney Park last summer on a road trip (same ownership so our passes are vaild at both parks), they have a similar family rest station. I particularly like that, in this case, they are spaces for fathers as well – since my husband is the primary diaper changer 😉

    By the way your website has me growling quite a bit because every time I go to hit tab-enter to post my comment it loads a different page instead! Grr on having to grab my mouse to click the button!!! 😉

  27. Marsha Fuller says:

    I just wanted to say, it doesn’t really matter what a nursing mom does, we still get shamed! I was in a mall, in a very quiet corner, nursing my 4 month old and except for the baby blanket you could not even tell I was holding a baby much less nursing, and this nasty old man walked up to me with a growl in his throat and a scowl on his face and he sneered and said, “That is the most disgusting display I’ve even seen in public!” So we might as well make it a common sight because not matter WHAT we do, we will be told it is disgusting! I still see red when I think of this nasty old man! I have severe allergies in my family and felt it was the BEST for my daughter and she was an on demand baby!

  28. We have a lot of parents rooms already in Australia. I would expect there to be one if I visited a large shopping centre. I tend to use them if they are close by (but won’t go more than about 200m out of my way for one), mainly just for the peace and quiet.

    I have to say though, the message they send disturbs me too. I was nursing my daughter on a bench one day and a woman who had just immigrated from the UK came up and was saying she was glad to see someone else nursing in public as that’s what she planned to do (she had a large bump and an older child), but she’d gotten the impression that it was acceptable in Australia from all of the private, designated areas there were for it. I assured her it wasn’t an issue here – I’ve done it for years and never had a problem with anyone. But it did get me thinking about what impression we gave people not familiar with the area, as well as the silent signal of support to those who don’t agree with nursing in public.

    Another issue I have with the rooms (some, not all) is the private cubicles within them. Apparently we are not even meant to breastfeed in front of other mothers 🙁 If there was ever a place that networking and support should be encouraged, it should be in a breastfeeding area! I would love a chat and to help out a new mother with a couple of pointers and some encouragement – they would have meant the world to me as a new mother and I’d be happy to provide them now, as someone who has made it through quite a number of breastfeeding obstacles.

    • I’m in Australia too and totally agree.
      I’ve also seen arguments start over those segregated, curtained stalls. “Why should only breastfeeders get to use the comfy chairs?” “Why is a bottle feeder using thatroom while my hungry baby sits oit here crying in the non curtained area waiting for a bottle feeding baby to finish?” Its all rather ridicilous.
      I personally usually dont bother with parenting rooms anymore. Mainly because half the time they smell putrid from toddler soiled nappies. Also because I really don’t feel the need to power walk to the far end of a shopping centre with a screaming baby and a dawdling 3yr old to get to a feeding room. People stare at you like you’re a terrible mother who cant cope. That state is far worse to me than any ignorant dirty look I may get for feeding my baby in public.

  29. Brenda Holland-Robinson says:

    I’m recently retired. Breastfed 3 children. Worked with first-time moms for almost 13 years. Never was I more dismayed than when I accompanied a new mom to her pediatrician and witnessed her being “told” to use the room set aside “for that purpose”. When I questioned why, I was told that many patients were uncomfortable with women uncovering themselves. I was almost speechless but did tell her that should that be the case, those folks should be placed out of view, not a breastfeeding mom unless SHE was uncomfortable. The very idea!

  30. Thank you for the article, I agree with everything you said. I live in Pittsburgh and I feel that BFing in public is pretty taboo here. I tried and nursed everywhere, but it was hard. One of the museums has a nursing room and I was once made to feel guilty for not using it when I was nursing my baby in the toddler area. I guess my breasts were offending the 1-3 year old children in the room or something.

    The irony with my bfing life was that I could not use a cover with my first child and friends were offended by that. I was given a nice cover for my second child and that was the only way to feed her on the go, she was too distracted by everything so the cover allowed her the peace when we were out and about. I joked above, the only place with a nursing room that I find completely acceptable is the one at Disney World. It is amazing, the only air conditioned place in the park and it is just for me and my baby. It is a privilege that parents can enjoy, bfing or not. If the world modeled after that, this would be a better place.

  31. I’m am sure, this post will have negative feedback but I am a mother of two. I breastfed both of my children for a little over a year each. I did not cover up all the time. If my baby was hungry I did not feel embarrassed to feed my baby. I guess my confusion is about feeling the immediate need to breastfeed a toddler in public. At that point I can’t bring myself to believe it about your childs hunger at that point. My friend’s sister is still nursing her son and he is 4!! A baby the need is urgent. A toddler?

    • To the toddler the need is urgent. It is food, drink and comfort all in one. Also if toddler is teething or unwell they often increase their milk feeds and decrease solids.

      • So if your toddler says to take him to the park its urgent. Will you drop everything and go? How about any toy they urgently need? Urgency is perspective. Doesnt makw it necessity

  32. staceylouise91 says:

    Why aren’t there ‘like’ buttons here?!?!?! Currently, I’m nursing a 9-month old fidget and we live in Scotland! A couple of weeks ago, a picture of a NIP mother was tagged ‘tramp’ and posted on Facebook, it went viral, news coverage and everything, YOU COULDN’T SEE ANY SKIN. Well, mothers across the globe who had heard of it, gathered themselves up in their thousands and nursed in public. I bet that young man didn’t see it coming! Personally, I have never come across a designated breastfeeding area/room or another mother NIP and I’d really like to see more because being the only person, other than my mother, to breastfeed in public makes me feel kinda uneasy, and I have lots of friends with infants. If I could, I’d scream from the rooftops of how proud I am to have breast fed for so long and to have given my son the best possible start in life. I am a first time mother and I will not bow down and do as I’m told, just because some ignorant, inconsiderate, uneducated, idiot of a person thinks it’s disgusting or degrading! And as a mother, I have the right to make sure my son is taken care of and fed in any manner I see fit. My son has the right to the breast milk that my body produces, I will NIP and if that bothers anyone, I genuinely do not care!…….. for anyone who didn’t hear about it but wants to have a read >>> http://m.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-stoke-staffordshire-26592340

    • You go girl! I am from England and the feeding facilities are poor and are predominantly filled with bottle feeders most of the time. I have bf my 3 boys for nearly 3 years age and am currently bf my 3mnth old and will probably feed her till shes four, just cause I want to and shes my last one, so I can have that luxury. I have never been accosted for bf in public in all that time but then I have always been quite discreet, not using a cover or anything, but I am quite shy and will try and find a quiet corner or place. However I do feel strongly that women should have the right to feed wherever and however they like, I mean what’s the problem really, other than the odd uneducated bigot voicing one of their non-sensical pointless arguments. Are we not just multi-tasking like millions in the developing world do everyday!

  33. I’m American, but live in Australia. I breastfeed in public, whenever. Where ever. I also love using parent rooms! We happen to have exceptional ones here, that are for the most part very clean, spacious and even have kid size toilets in them, which are great for my four year old. I also love the parents rooms because I do elimination communication with my babies and when a baby eats… then they also have to poop! So, I can feed, poop and put my feet up without having anyone hassle me. I understand what you’re saying and nursing in public needs to become more acceptable, especially if you’re feeding a baby, but I think that clean, spacious parent rooms AND nursing in public should both be the norm!

    • OMG! haha, I just reread my comment… it should say ‘the BABY can feed, poop in the toilet and I can put my feet’, Although… I won’t lie, I have certainly fed on the toilet before… desperate times, you know 😉

  34. I sometimes like using nursing rooms simply because they are calmer and give me a break from more busy places, esp. because they also contained the older child better than a shopping mall. However I totally agree that there is an issue with locking bf women away. In a shopping mall I have been asked to use the nursing room, and that just sits very badly with me, I feel told off, sent away, as if I’m doing something wrong. So while I agree with your main point, I disagree with the almost political statement that you won’t set a foot in them – obviously I’m ok with you making that choice, I mean I don’t feel a need to boycot them because they can actually give comfort and peace that other places may not offer – so it’s about giving a choice. Also for women who do not (yet) feel comfortable feeding in public, covering up or using nursing rooms may be a great stepping stone to bf in spite their discomfort. I remember my first pubilc feed with both children, and even with the history of bf for 2 years previously, I felt discomfort (it passed quickly), so I can relate to that feeling. I think though it’s totally inappropriate for anyone to suggest to a nursing mama to ask her to use a designated room, or to explain that there is one. If I want to use a nursing room and don’t know if there is one, I can ask, I don’t need to be told. Being told is patronising,

  35. At the moment the concept of creating “nursing rooms” was considered a requirement, maybe they should also put a “PDA” room along side that! Some people cant stand seeing public displays of affection or watching people suck each others faces (not to mention the awful sound accompanying that) whilst eating in a restaurant. If they felt the urge to snog their partner they should run to the PDA room specific for their requirement. Next to the PDA room there should be a “passing wind” room as some would consider belching and farting not pleasant to witness or inhale. If they felt one brewing, they should acknowledge that there is a room designed for such crude acts and shamefully shuffle off there so the public know exactly what they’re about to do with other like winded people….. see how ridiculous that would be! People need to get over themselves, concentrate on their own daily activities and quit judging others. BREAST FEEDING ROCKS!!!! Xxx

  36. There’s a troll in our midst ladies. Cover yer tits. She’s on a hate mission. Beware lol

  37. The author has a point, but I wish women were a bit more relaxed about “being controlled” and “over-sexualization”. I feed my child in public whenever it’s comfortable for us, but absolutely refuse making it an act of protest. Just chill.

  38. This is a fantastic article. I totally agree. It’s nothing to do with being an exhibitionist and feeding in public just because you can, it’s about normalising breastfeeding, letting people see breastfeeding (and getting used to it!), and showing other women that nursing in public is nothing to be ashamed of and not something to be hidden! That cannot be done if women are shut away to breastfeed.

    I have used nursing rooms before, back when I was too embarrassed to breastfeed in public. Thankfully I got over my embarrassment. That’s one of the reasons I am now eager to breastfeed my daughter in public… not because I like to show off my breasts or be an exhibitionist, but because I never want another woman to feel embarrassed about nursing in public. I see new mothers struggling to feed their newborns under nursing covers, nervously looking around to see if anyone is going to say anything, and my heart breaks for them, because I’ve been there. I now see myself as a role model, and the more breastfeeding in public we all see, the sooner it will become not a big deal, and the sooner more babies will be breastfed because it’s no longer this mysterious, hidden, taboo thing!

  39. I totally support a womens right to choose how she raises her kids etc. I dont however like to see anyones boobs while I am out with my family. It really is inappropriate and gross in my opinion.
    I breastfeed everywhere and anywhere, but I use a cover. MODESTY please. I would never just whip my boob out anywhere for the whole world to see… and I certainly dont want to see yours.

    • How is a woman nourishing her child gross? And, you barely see anything. I am a very modest person, but do not use a cover. Bub has a poor latch that I literally need to keep an eye on, and it’s far too hot and humid here.

  40. I genrally agree with u. I don’t find breastfeeding offensive or in any way remotely sexual. I have no issue with people doing it anywhere. however I have a daughter and my other half doesn’t feel comfortable feeding anywhere and everwhere. good on the women that have that but I live in a city with only 2 feeding rooms and we have to run all over the place to get to these as my other have doesn’t feel comfortable just wacking it out. so I would like to see more. oddly enough we went into a baby store and they shove my other half into a changing room… clothes not nappies. a tiny cubical. my only issue with feeding rooms is although it is a parents area if I am with my other half I am shuned outside as a man. why have a parent area where a family isn’t alound to be together. as I have mentioned breast feeding isn’t sexual I’m not going to stare bei g as I am more concerned with my daughter and my partner.

  41. Reading the bickering between Nonya and I cant help but wonder: What would be the problem if it were all about a woman feeling empowered to feed her baby whenever and wherever? What makes feeding the only valid reason to demand and defend the right of a mother to feed her child anywhere she chooses? Yes, there are multiple reasons why babies should be fed on demand. First of all being that that is the biological norm. However, I argue that it is also important for a woman to know, to really believe, that she has the right to use her body just as nature intended to. That there is nothing inherently bad or shameful in the act of using her body to nourish her child, and thus she does not need to hide. Before I even dreamt of having kids, let along breastfeeding, I never thought of my breast except when I was shopping for a bra, shirt or bikini. I realized now that the value I placed in them was based on a external scale. On whatever was dictated by other people, men in particular, marketing, etc, about the value of breasts. After having gestated, birthed, and breastfed 2 kids, I have to say that Ive never been more aware and comfortable with my body. The taboo is gone. I nurse both my 1 yr old and my 4 year old, whenever and wherever I feel like. I know now that my breast are not something to be ashamed of. Specially since you can barely see a thing. Really!!! It takes less than 3 seconds for an experienced nurser to latch on a kid. An even if it takes her longer and you do get a glimpse: what would be the problem? Would you turn to stone? Would your brain explode? Why would I have to feel like I have to hide feeding my baby, just because of the inability of some to grasp the concept that breast can be both sexual and nurturing. I dont mean to be crass, but I am sure there are other body parts that we get to use during sex and we dont hide them when we go out. Otherwise we would pretty much have to cover ourselves from the nose all the way down our ankles….what the heck we may have to cover our feet as well 🙂 Im just saying, since I have been able to nurse my kids, without shame or care for what people around me may think, it has been empowering. It has freed me of taboos I didnt eve realized I carried. And I think that in itself, that is reason enough to defen NIP, uncovered, if the woman chooses to.

    • If you read my very first post it was saying that the women here try to pretend its all about the child. But this fan base is really just using it because thwy have one gender specific right and they want to push it around. Thanks for agreeing with me though

      • lillian says:

        If my child cries for boob, he gets the boob. Im not gonna let my son cry in a store while I walk to the nearest acceptable place to nurse. That’s just stupid. I’m not gonna wait till I get to my car, I’m not going to cover his face and deprive him of fresh air. Honestly, truly and honestly, I don’t care what anyone thinks, and my choice to NIP isn’t just for my child. I do have an agenda and there is nothing wrong with that. I have tits. Those tits are for my son, and I will fucking wip them out wherever I damn well please to feed my son. My agenda is I want all women to feel as I do. I want people to see me, and get it in there head that that is what my boobs are for. What their boobs are for. That is their purpose. To feed a baby. And it’s plain stupid to let them cry because you don’t want to offend people. Someone is offended? GOOD. I don’t care if NIP isn’t just for my son and I’m not afraid to admit that. There is nothing wrong with wanting myself and my fellow women to get the damn respect we deserve for feeding our children. No one here would even exist if it wasn’t for our ancestors sticking us on a boob. My breasts to me represent nourishment and have the ability to sustain life! So no, for me, it’s not all about him. He doesn’t care if he eats in a nursing room or the car. I care, because I don’t want to hide, I don’t have to, and I won’t. And I hope one day this country will feel that way too. He just wants food, he doesn’t care where he gets fed, but I do. And I’m not going to segregate myself by using a nursing room.

  42. Nonya…in an earlier post, you said you had a child…you sure do have a ton of time on your hands to be writing a response to EVERY PERSON that comments. Here’s an idea…go feed your kid.

  43. Matt Stacey says:

    As a modern liberal man, I fully support women’s rights to breast feed where ever they feel comfortable…and you get to see their boobies 😀

  44. I agree with the ugly side of nursing rooms. I will say that I agree with some of the commenters though that I appreciate nursing rooms in some situations – like when my son is to distracted to nurse anywhere else or when the place I am at doesn’t have a good spot to sit. I also like nursing rooms at certain places where I have to be when I am not with my son and need to pump. I am comfortable nursing in public but pumping in public still makes me a little weirded out. I know maybe that shouldn’t be the case but when traveling and at the airport, for example, I appreciate a private place to pump.

  45. This article really got me to thinking. I have only ever seen 1 nursing room, it wasn’t in the town I live. I used it to change a diaper not feed. I have fed my son everywhere we usually cover out of respect for my husband.
    Nonya why do you go to the car? Is it a choice?
    So as a nursing mom I am feeling empowered to make a choice!
    I want to go nurse uncovered in public!

    • Brynna when did I say I go to a car??????????? Oh. I. Did. Not! Now that thats out the way. And again proving my point. Its not about the child. Its about you.

  46. I would love to breastfeed in public, but i have large breasts and can only do the football hold. Ive cried so many times because i cant nurse like everyone else.

  47. Britta Spencer says:

    I think that the whole point of this article is about a mother and child’s right to choose where and how to feed. Nursing Rooms are wonderful things. Relegating a nursing mother to a segregated room; not so cool. Nursing rooms provide the potential to normalize hiding nursing mothers. I never covered while nursing but there were multiple times that I chose to go to my car, a bedroom, or a nursing room for various reasons. However, early motherhood can be an isolating and lonely experience for some women; forcing them to withdraw from people every time baby needs to eat epitomizes lack of support.

  48. nonya says:
    April 16, 2014 at 6:43 pm

    Nope. Never have. Aside from my car. Just like a baby I can wait a few minutes.

    Try saying again that you didn’t say your car. I find it sad that most of the comments have been an argument. I have a 17 month old girl and while we were never successful with breastfeeding I am hoping that I will succeed with the next. And while I’m not breastfeeding or pregnant currently I still love reading these posts because I like reading new information and opinions about BF and NIP. I think everyone is entitled to their own opinion, can even make comments about it. But what I don’t like is when someone isnt just sharing their opinion, they also have an attitude. It’s sad that you can’t see the difference between a persons choice to provide to their child when their child wants it and if it’s safe to do so. Where that is is completely between that mother and child, no one else. The milk is free and the mother and child are willing. I don’t see the problem. I like that there is a discussion about the pro and cons of various facilities. It gives me more information to go on when I make decisions for myself. But one thing I have always felt is, if it isn’t dangerous to do so, why shouldn’t I give my child what she wants, especially when it is good for her. I don’t make her wait, this isn’t a concept she can understand yet. And I feel it could have a negative impact on my relationship with my daughter. I never want her to feel she isn’t as important as something else I could be doing at the time. And I definitely wouldn’t want her growing up feeling ashamed of asking for what she wants.

    • I said I eat in a car..

      • Nonya I see what you’re saying. Your issue here has to do with the agenda and mindset of the “women of this group”. I will not engage you in a discussion about nip like the other women here, because you clearly don’t have an issue with nip. You do have an issue with being an antagonizer and being judgmental. What your asking for from these community, to agree with you and “admit” they only breastfeed in an aisle, park bench, table at a coffee shop for selfish reasons, is u fathomable and purely from an opinion you have formed because you have a fundamentally different opinion than the community members. You will never be given a response that you find satisfactory here because you will not accept it. And that is ok.

        What is not ok or acceptable is you trolling to instigate fights. Not even debates because everyone here has out debated you. But no one wins in this scenario because you just keep yelling ” NO!” So much like when homophobic people deny that homosexuality is something people are born with and are presented with facts and stories and personal accounts by people in that context, they don’t want to be convinced because then it would mean their OPINION was wrong. And they don’t want to be wrong. And again, that is ok because that is their choice.

        So continue to choose to not want to be wrong. That is ok. We shall continue to want to parent the way we see fit. And that is ok. At the end of the day, this is what parenting is all about. You have your opinion I have mine and everyone else has their own. Not my problem or your problem except to just mind your business. You seem like someone who wouldn’t like for people to stick their nose in your business.

        I’m sure you’ll pull apart something insignificant I’ve written here, and if that makes you feel better go ahead. But I will not respond and PLEASE NO ONE ELSE RESPOND. LET nonya have the last word. As actions speak louder than words any who.

        Keep on keeping

  49. I used a nursing room because I WANTED TO. No one made me and I’m not embarassed to feed in public, but with a let down that would spray across a room and nipple shields to apply (and reapply when they fell off) it wasn’t ideal to sit on the floor or on a swing or wherever the need arose, it was physically impossible unless we were sitting in a chair with towels and ideally a table next to us, and no, I didn’t want to get my whole boob out to feed in public because breast feeding was OUR time together, special and private, not for strangers to gawk at.

    • Lol I hear ya with that let down! I’ve grown used to having extra burp clothes in our diaper bag because it gets pretty intense haha

  50. I will start by saying, I’ll pretty much nurse my baby wherever I am. Usually uncovered as well! But if there is a nursing room available, I like to take it. Not for privacy. Only because it’s quiet, comfortable for both of us, and it’s relaxing to just sit and nurse her. It makes me feel like I’m at home. I fully agree that this is just another room so others don’t have to see. But like you said, however a mother and her nursling are comfortable.

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  55. I love this article and I love the comments. The only thing that was that one person who whose arguments were quite insane scattered belligerent angry. It made me sad that so many women wrote back such well thought-out response to and that one person kept coming back with utter insanity. the one benefit of that annoying person with that so many women wrote so many beautifully written reasons for why it truly is all right to nurse in public when you want to or need to. As a mom who still nursing my 3 year old I really do in public and I just love all the support. It’s such a shame that they’re sick people out there who think those ways.

  56. Rarely nurse in oubkic, not *really. Although I might next time!

  57. I used a nursing room ONCE. My second was 7 months old and we were at Six Flags in July for his older brother’s birthday. I had been nursing all over the park all day. We were waiting for my oldest to ride a ride in the children’s area and it was HOT. There was a nursing room nearby, so we went to sit in the quiet, air conditioned room for a while to get out of the heat.
    Abby, I completely agree with you!

  58. Kristy Hughes says:

    I used a nursing room a couple times toward the beginning when we were still working on latch. And I used a nursing room once when my son was much older cause he was just too distracted other wise to just nurse. I finally stopped nursing in public at 2.5 cause he just couldn’t really do it. He would get on– pop off, get back on– pop off, again. Just too much monkey business.

    But, in the middle when I could nurse comfortably, I just did it where ever. I was asked a couple times if I wanted to move to the nursing room and always said no.

  59. AngieSmangie says:

    I have a question that so far, no one has been able to answer. Am I legally required to use my office’s lactation room (can my office make me use the lactation room)? I work for the state of California in a huge building. There is one room on the first floor used for pumping mamas. I don’t want to use it. By the time I get down there and hook up my pump…it just takes way too long. I have been pumping at my desk for the past 3 months. I work in a 20×15 room and within that room are three cubicles. I work in one and my two male co workers work in the other two. I pump at my desk, I cover myself with a shawl and put a bright pink sign up when I am pumping so other know to come back in 15-20 minutes. I pump 3x a day for 20 minutes. When I returned to work, before I started pumping at my desk I checked with my two male coworkers to see if they were comfortable with me pumping at my desk and they are totally cool with it. Now my supervisor has scheduled a meeting with me after she herd my pump the other day when she came in the room to sign some stuff. I am afraid she is going to tell me I have to use the lactation room.

    • AngieSmangie says:

      FYI – No one can see when I am pumping. My walls are 6 ft high where my coworkers cubes are located and one is a counter that is 4 ft high. I am 5’1 standing, sitting i am 4 ft sitting. With my sign on my counter my other coworkers see it and come back later. I do not work with the public.

  60. no body thinks the picture where the OP is in the dead of winter, with a hat, her neck tightly wrapped with a scarf but her breast fully exposed is *ucking ridiculous?? come on guys. get real.

  61. oh and it looks cold af out…and you got you son in some pajama pants… -__-

  62. I work at a babies r us and we do have a mother’s room available if wanted. It’s stocked with diapers, wipes, a changing table, a glider and nursing foot stool, and a small couch. I do use it on occasion because my older kid likes to run wild and I prefer to be able to sit while nursing my very heavy toddler!
    However. My coworkers are all aware that they are NEVER to ask/tell a nursing mother to go anywhere else besides where she is. We offer a seat if she’d like to sit, we offer to get her a water bottle from the registry desk, and we let her feed her baby. I am adamant about that. The only time we tell a woman that we have a mother’s room is if she asks for somewhere private to nurse or pump. 🙂

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