Kids These Days

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“Kids these days…

aren’t spanked enough.”

aren’t tough enough.”

need more discipline.”

are pussies.”

are out of control.”

I hear these heartbreaking statements about children all the time. The thing is “kids these days” are every generation. Generation after generation of adults have been referring to children this way. We were referred to this way when we were children and so were our parents. The current generation of children are being talked about like this. And it’s likely that people will be saying this about the next generation of children as well.

The problem is not with the kids. It’s with us. It’s with the people who utter these ugly words. I’m not going to disagree that we don’t need to make changes with our children. I am disagreeing with the way we go about it. The answer does not lie with the children. It lies with us.

The way to make change is not to drag others down, instill fear or cause physical pain. We make change when we build people up, when we empower them and support them. It is our job to give our children the self-esteem, confidence, love and nurturance that they need to grow into a truly changing generation. And to give parents the tools, support and connection  to help them get there.

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Abby Theuring, MSW

Comments

  1. Beautifully put! I couldn’t agree with you more. I feel as if the individuals who make these comments are often the ones who feel guilt for the things that they feel they’ve failed at as parents. We all make mistakes but it is unnecessary to project our insecurities onto others. Our focus as parents is to sensitively guide our daughters as they make the journey through life. This approach is not cookie cutter for each child or each family. Being mindful of childrens’/ families’ differences is very important but often overlooked.
    Thank you for sharing.

  2. Telling kids to ‘toughen up’, or ‘not cry’, or ‘you’re fine’ – teaches them not to trust themselves, but to look outside for validation. How many adults do you know that flounder in life, because they can’t trust themselves?

  3. We attended a positive discipline seminar & take that approach with our kids. Agree with you 100%

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